pocket epiphanies – Page 2 – Steve Jacobsen, Ed.D

Romantic Fiction, Baseball Passions, and Spiritual Masterpieces

A high school friend once told me her mother had gotten a phone call from a neighbor:

“He died!” the neighbor said in tears, “He’s gone! He’s really gone!”

My friend’s mother was shaken. “Who?? Who died?”

In between sobs, the friend named a character from her favorite television soap opera. And continued to cry.

Why do we get invested in imaginary situations?

An anthropology professor I know once invited me to a day-long conference at UCSB focusing on the emerging field of evolutionary psychology. Scholars were exploring how much human behavior could be explained by tracing it back to the adaptive needs of our ancestors. While some of the presentations were over my head, one stuck with me. Many people spend a great deal of time reading “romance novels” and “pulp fiction”. The presenter wondered: why would we be wired to spend our time this way? It seems like such a waste. If life is all about survival, reading about fictional characters in melodramatic stories seems pointless – it doesn’t put any food on the table or make us physically stronger. After exploring several alternatives, he concluded that this activity must be a way for us to exercise our capacity to understand and navigate our social relationships without any actual personal risk or vulnerability. We human beings are social animals who live in groups and tribes: fiction allows us to explore how to do this in a way that doesn’t expose us to any real danger.

Puppies may romp, wrestle and bite each other but never actually hurt one another. Such play is a rehearsal and training for a time when, as adult dogs, they may encounter actual adversaries. They’re safely rehearsing skills they may need in real life.

Which leads to a critical question someone asked me this week: “Why do you get so wrapped up following your baseball team? It’s just a game, but you talk about it like its real life.” I have been pondering this question. Why do I care so much about a made-up game? When the season is over, nothing has changed in my life or the fate of the world. I think being a sports fan is like reading compelling works of fiction: It’s a way to see how human beings behave under pressure over a long period of time. In the process, we become emotionally and mentally invested in the drama and look for lessons to live by. Some examples…If you learn how to function well under high expectations and pressure, you will live a better life. If you let one disappointing experience stay with you, your performance will suffer. If you learn how to be a good teammate, you’ll go farther.

Baseball is like a novel with 162 chapters – plus up to 22 bonus episodes if you make the playoffs. All the while, human drama is unfolding.

When I was a kid, I was short. So was Maury Wills, the Dodger shortstop. He didn’t hit many home runs. But he figured out how to get on first and steal bases. He showed how you could adapt and thrive even if you weren’t the biggest and strongest guy out there.

Or take Sandy Koufax. The greatest pitcher of his time, he declined to pitch the opening game of the 1965 World Series because it fell on Yom Kippur, the sacred Jewish holiday. He showed everyone what personal integrity looks like. (As an example of divine favor, he pitched and won the final game that clinched the Series.)

We human beings are story tellers and game players. From these activities we learn crucial lessons.

Our spiritual traditions are full of invaluable stories.

Buddhism has an abundance of tales, parables, and koans that elegantly convey great insight.

Judaism has a remarkable abundance of brilliant stories, passed down over the centuries to help us reflect on our assumptions and values.

An expert once asked Jesus what he needed to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus affirmed the two most important commandments: love God and love your neighbor. The expert asked him, “Who is my neighbor?” And Jesus told the story of the Good Samaritan.[i]

When he wanted to teach about the loving and merciful nature of God, he didn’t give a lecture on ethics, but said, “A man once had two sons…” and told the story of the Prodigal Son.[ii]

Many of us have heard these two stories countless times. But they never lose their power.

Both stories are total fictions. They never really happened. Jesus made them up. But they tell us profound truths about who we are and who we can be in simple and unforgettable ways.

Years ago I taught a class in religious studies at Heritage College in rural Washington. One of the required books was Black Elk Speaks, an account of teachings attributed to Black Elk, an Oglala Sioux Medicine Man. I always have appreciated this statement attributed to him:

“This they tell, and whether it happened so or not I do not know; but if you think about it, you can see that it is true.”[iii]

[i] Luke 10: 25-37

[ii] Luke 15: 11-32

[iii] “The Offering of the Pipe,” Black Elk Speaks, John G. Niehardt, 1932

Lead Image: Sitting Around The Campfire; ar.inspiredpencil.com

“Welcome to Freedom?”

As I’ve been watching Dodger baseball games recently, I have seen the same ad over and over. The camera is behind a well-dressed woman in an elevator. We see her press the button for the “Casino” floor. The elevator doors open. She steps out into a vineyard. In the middle of the vineyard is a slot machine. As she walks purposefully toward it, these words appear: “Welcome to Freedom. Chumash Casino Resort.”

The ad does not entice me to visit the casino. It does make me wonder what “freedom” means in our current culture.

I recently attended a fascinating class at the local synagogue taught by my dear friend and colleague, Rabbi Steve Cohen. The topic was the kosher laws. We began by reading some of dietary restrictions recorded in the book of Leviticus, going back at least 2,500 years. These instructions clearly describe the animals a faithful person should not eat, including camels, rabbits, and pigs. For the next hour, Rabbi Steve led the class through a survey of how scholars have interpreted these laws over time (including the 11^th, 12^th, 13^th, 16^th, and 17^th centuries). Why these animals and not others? Was it all about healthy eating, or something else? It seemed to me each commentator had an interesting point of view. I also learned that, in the last 150 years, leaders in the modern, Reformed tradition had decided the faithful did not need to continue strictly observe these guidelines as in earlier times.

But I was intrigued by the comments of a 20^th century British scholar, Dr. Isadore Grunfeld:

To the superficial observer it may seem that men who do not obey the law are freer than law-abiding men, because they can follow their own inclinations. In reality, however, such men are subject to the most cruel bondage: they are slaves of their own instincts, impulses, and desires. The first step towards emancipation from the tyranny of animal inclinations in man is, therefore, a voluntary submission to the moral law. The constraint of law is the beginning of human freedom…

The three strongest natural drives in man are for food, sex, and acquisition. Judaism does not aim at the destruction of these impulses, but at their control and sanctification. It is the law which ennobles these instincts and transfigures them into the legitimate joys of life. The first of the three impulses mentioned is the craving for food; it can easily lead to gluttony, and what is worse, to the fundamentally wrong conception that man “liveth by bread alone.” This natural, but dangerous food- instinct, is transformed by the dietary laws into self-discipline. It is no accident that the first law given to man – not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of good and evil – was a dietary law. … Self-control and self-conquest must start with the most primitive and most powerful of human instincts – the craving for food. Thus the Dietary Laws stand at the beginning of man’s long and arduous road to self-discipline and moral freedom.[i]

I had never thought of it this way.

From an evolutionary perspective, these impulses are part of our drive to survive. But as we became more aware of our instincts, we can develop an ability to manage them instead of blindly following them.

In my late teens, I adopted a common cultural practice of the time: smoking cigarettes. I ended up using a pack a day for 5 years. I finally decided to quit. It was not easy. I began to realize that, up to that time, every time I reached for a cigarette, I thought I was making a “free choice.” But the nicotine in my system was demanding the next one, cleverly disguising itself and instead convincing me I was making a free choice. I am grateful I was able to break the habit. I also developed empathy for anyone who becomes dependent on such substances and habits.

I have good memories of playing poker with friends. Many people go to casinos and have a good time. But I also know that not everyone who walks into a casino is as “free” as they think they are. (That is why gambling ads, like cigarettes, include a message like “Always game responsibly. Call 1-800-GAMBLE.”) What is true for gambling is true for other aspects of human behavior. What looks like freedom can, in fact, be bondage.

For centuries, some religious traditions have told people they are inherently sinful because they experience such desires. But what I like about Grunfeld’s perspective is the assumption that having such desires is not bad in itself, but simply part of our biological inheritance. Spiritual practices, traditions and communities can help us manage them. And in that mastery, we discover a freedom we did not realize we were missing. As Huston Smith said, “We are free when we are not the slave of our impulses, but rather their master. Taking inward distance, we thus become the authors of our own dramas rather than characters in the them.” In the process, we can savor even more the simple pleasures of our lives. It’s not about a slot machine or a ham sandwich – it’s about becoming wise in the ways of living.

[i] “The Dietary Laws: A Threefold Explanation,” https://traditiononline.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/The-Dietary-Laws.pdf

Who Let the Dogs In? The Genius of Rembrandt’s Spiritual Imagination

Over the years, I’ve done a variety of presentations exploring the way Rembrandt portrays Biblical scenes. Time and again, I’ve been fascinated by the surprising ways he imagines and creates visual details. One example is his apparent fondness for dogs.

We can start with “The Hundred Guilder Print.” This work captures in one scene the various encounters Jesus has with a crowd of people as described in Matthew 19. Here’s the print:

If we read the text carefully and study the scene, we see how he includes all the important characters: people who are hoping to be healed, scholars who like to debate fine points of law, mothers bringing children to receive his blessing, etc. Near the bottom left, we find something not mentioned in the text:

When I’ve seen dogs positioned like this, it is usually because they have determined they are near a spot where food scraps are likely to fall. This is certainly not mentioned in the story – it’s something Rembrandt decided to add.

Here is his portrayal of “The Good Samaritan:”

In the story, a Samaritan sees a stranger who has been beaten and robbed, and no one is stopping to help. But the Samaritan binds his wounds, puts him on his horse, takes him to an inn, and arranges for the man’s lodging and care. All that is in the story. But in the lower right corner, we see an unexpected sight:

Suffice it to say, when we see dogs in this posture, we can guess what they are doing. This is not a detail noted in any translations I am familiar with.

He doesn’t limit canines to outdoor scenes. In “The Presentation in the Temple,” Joseph and Mary bring their 8-day old infant to be dedicated. Two elders, Simeon and Anna, express joy upon seeing the child. Divine light streams down from the upper left highlighting the sacred moment:

And there, in the bottom left corner, we see one of our four-legged friends:

This dog is scratching his left ear with his back foot.

I have not found any articles explaining why Rembrandt inserts oridnary dogs into scenes that portray profound spiritual experiences. But my guess is he understood great spiritual moments in life don’t occur in situations where everything is perfectly staged, as if designed by Martha Stewart. They happen in nitty-gritty, down-to-earth settings where ordinary human beings experience something profound. And what is more down-to-earth than the presence of a dog in the midst of a human gathering doing what dogs do?

I have had memorable spiritual experiences in stunning cathedrals and in sanctuaries filled with glorious music. But I have also had them in hospital rooms next to bedpans and beeping monitors, dusty home building sites in the barrios of Tijuana, and while changing irrigation lines in an alfalfa field. And, like many people, I have had experiences with a dog when I feel a deep bond of knowing and caring for each other in a way that’s hard to explain. It’s all part of life, and there’s no limit to the ways and settings in which the Spirit can appear. Rembrandt shows us what that looks like.

Lead Image: “Sleeping Puppy,” Rembrandt, 1640; Victoria and Albert Museum

Remembering A Mentor: Gail Rink

Sometimes we start thinking about someone and not know why. This week, Gail Rink, my mentor at Hospice of Santa Barbara began hovering in my awareness. I became curious and searched my files. I discovered she died July 27, 2010 – fifteen years ago this weekend. I decided to use this space to honor her.

Gail was born in 1944 in Niagara Falls, New York. As a young woman, she attended a Presbyterian church and felt a call to pursue ministry. She spoke to her pastor about it. He told her that was not an option for a woman. She chose social work instead.

She found her way to Santa Barbara and began a 30-year, ground-breaking career.

When the AIDS epidemic emerged, many people were reluctant to care for AIDS patients. Gail trained volunteers and clinicians how to do it; she showed the way, and many followed.

She became a legendary educator at our local hospital, teaching young medical residents how to sensitively talk with patients and their families about death and dying. And how to listen. Dr. Fred Kass, a local oncologist who worked closely with Gail, said this: “She taught me to better understand where patients were coming from and appreciate things from their perspective — not only to say what I needed to say as a doctor, but hear what I had to say as they heard it,” Kass said. “If we could really empathize with them we could be better at helping them.”*

She was down-to-earth and practical, helping people find what they needed to be supported on their journey. She also had a “sixth sense” about people and situations. “Gail knew when the spirit left the body, and I didn’t realize that you could know that or she had that intuition” one person who worked with her said. “She had access to a whole other world of knowing, a spirit level of knowing that she was privileged to know. She walked in the room and everyone knew it was all OK.” * More than once, I thought that in traditional cultures she would have been recognized as a born shaman.

I was a Hospice Board member when she announced she was going to retire. I began to wonder if I might apply for her position. My practical inner voice said, “No way I could follow Gail. I don’t have anywhere near the qualifications, background or experience.” I put it out of my mind.

A few weeks later, she called me and told me to meet her for coffee at the local Starbucks. After we sat down with our drinks, she asked if I had considered applying for her position. I told her I had decided I was not qualified. She told me she had recently been sitting in her living room and noticed “dust bunnies” being gently blown by a breeze along the hardwood floor. She said, “As I watched them it became clear you need to follow me.” I repeated my concerns. She said, “Look, Hospice of Santa Barbara is essentially a spiritual organization. Even if you don’t realize it, you know what that means. Many people don’t. Other people will be doing the client work. You need to lead with what you know.” This did not feel like a suggestion, but a summons. I applied and was selected. That was a great crossroads in my life, and I owe it all to Gail (and those dust bunnies).

She loved to cook, entertain and laugh. She liked having a Manhattan with friends at Harry’s. She was direct and irreverent in her conversations. She was a dedicated Willie Nelson fan. She was unpredictable and delightful. She was one of a kind.

One day we were sitting by her pool and I decided it was my turn to speak truth. I acknowledged her Presbyterian minister may have told her years ago that she should not think of ever becoming a pastor. But, I said, look what an amazing “ministry” she had: loving and supporting people in their most difficult moments, educating doctors and the community on how to be present and compassionate with patients and families, instructing and inspiring countless volunteers and clinicians how to care. I told her the world had plenty of Presbyterian ministers, but there was only one Gail Rink.

The fruits of her labor continue to flourish in the lives of many people, including mine. I am grateful to have known her.

*https://www.noozhawk.com/080210_gail_rink

Life Among the Organisms

(Dear Reader: the following are my reflections on a recent personal experience. I know many of you have had similar and far more serious challenges in your journey — I would appreciate hearing your thoughts.)

What Happened

On Tuesday, June 19, I woke up with a sore back. The next day I was prescribed muscle relaxants which did not eliminate the problem. Saturday I was running a fever and went to the ER at our nearby hospital. Multiple tests confirmed something was amiss, but they were not sure what. Monday, I went to the downtown hospital for an MRI, which revealed a bacterial infection in the area around my cervical spine; I was admitted to the hospital. In the days that followed, ongoing blood tests and cultures identified the bacteria as Streptococcus anginosus which could be treated with daily injections of the antibiotic ceftriaxone. Friday,I had a PICC line inserted into my right arm and the treatment began. I was released to go home later that afternoon. Saturday a visiting nurse came to administer the medicine and teach my wife how to do it. We expect this to continue for six weeks. My energy is good, and I am not contagious.

What I Learned

I have visited many people in hospitals and homes for more than 40 years. I have seen countless situations more serious than what I experienced. But in sleepless and idle moments, these personal reflections emerged.

Grateful for modern medicine and skilled doctors. I asked what would have happened to me if I had this infection in the not-too distant past or was living in a Third World country. The doctor said the infection would spread to other parts of my body, probably my heart and brain, and eventually take my life. I have a fresh appreciation for the medical training, experience and technology that has been focused on my diagnosis and recovery.
It’s strange to be confined to one room for five days. This was the first time in my adult life I was an inpatient more than one night. At times it’s disorienting to be confined around the clock. But I’m grateful I had a room in the old wing of the hospital that had a view of the mountains. And I am also grateful I carry around with me a well-equipped inner sanctuary, where I go to recite prayers and meditations I have come to cherish over the years. (My favorites are the 23^rd Psalm and the Orthodox “Serene Light” prayer.[i])
Renewed appreciation for everyday comforts at home. My own bed with real sheets and pillows. Our dog napping near me when I am resting. Coffee I can make anytime I want. Privacy. Freedom.
Fresh appreciation for family caregivers. My wife has had to track all that has happened and now is in the role of a nurse giving injections. Caregivers carry a lot on their shoulders and in their mind.
The bacteria and I are both biological organisms pursuing our own aims. After the doctors described the bacteria to me, I tried to fathom the fact that this tiny organism had found a way to get into my blood stream and then decided to colonize the area around my cervical spine. It seemed to me an insidious act – a personal affront! — and I felt anger. But then I thought that this bacteria is just one more organism in the vast realm of living entities doing what they are designed to do: survive as best as best it can. (The words from the Godfather came to mind: “It’s not personal, it’s strictly business.”) But I also thought, “And I am an organism who wants to survive. And I’m going to do all I can to eradicate you from my body. I’ve got lots of resources on my side. We are going to get you. It’s not personal, it’s strictly business.”
Empathy for people whose challenges are far beyond mine. My treatment may last as little as six weeks, and I am otherwise in good health. But I caught at least a glimpse of what something far more serious may be like.
A new opportunity to appreciate the gift of life. I have been around illness and mortality often. I have often contemplated when and how my own life will end. But it’s one thing to think about mortality when we are healthy and another when our basic health is in question. I’m grateful to be alive.

[i] “Turning Towards the Serene Light”, PocketEpiphanies blog post, July 16, 2022

I Like Bob

Fr. Virgil Cordano was a legend here in Santa Barbara. He served as priest at the Mission for more than 50 years and was loved by people all over town for his warmth, wit, intelligence and community leadership. People would ask him if wanted to be Pope. “I would for 15 minutes,” he’d say. “I’d make all the changes that need to be made, then resign. That job is too difficult.”

On May 8, we heard the announcement that the job was offered to Bob Prevost from the south side of Chicago. He accepted and is now Pope Leo XIV,

There’s a lot to like about Bob.

Places a Premium on Friendship As a young man, he chose the small Augustinian order. “Being an Augustinian means being pretty open,” Father Moral Antón said, adding that, compared to other orders, theirs does not have “very rigid norms.” “It’s about eternal friendship, friends, wanting to walk with friends and find truth with friends,” he said. “Wanting to live in the world, to live life — but with friends, with people who love you, with whom you love…It is not always something you find,” he added, “but, well, that’s the ideal.”[i]

Does His Own Dishes: When he was a bishop in Chicago, he’d drop by the priests’ residence for dinner. When the meal was done, he would take his own dishes to the kitchen to wash them. He continued that practice even when he was a cardinal in Rome. “As a cardinal, he continued to live in an apartment near the Vatican by himself, forgoing the usual nuns who help. He shopped and cooked for himself, and lunched with the young priests, busing their plates.”[ii]

He’s a Baseball Fan. Chicago’s baseball loyalties are famously divided between the two teams that have been there since the 1800s: the Cubs on the north side, and the White Sox on the south. Bob grew up on the south side and is therefore a White Sox fan. This is not about choosing a team because you want to be associated with a winner. (Since 1917, the White Sox have won one World Series championship while the New York Yankees have won 27.) Bob is a White Sox fan because he is loyal to his neighborhood.

He Likes Road Trips He is known as someone who would turn down the option of flying to destinations in favor of driving, often by himself. “As bishop in Chiclayo, he drove 12 hours down to the capital, Lima, to meet Cardinal Joseph W. Tobin, an old friend from the United States. “I have this image of him covered with dust in a beat-up baseball cap,” Cardinal Tobin said.”[iii]

He’s a Global Citizen Bob speaks English, Italian and Spanish. He’s lived with the poor in Peru and traveled in Africa and Asia. He’s an American by birth but sees himself as serving all the people on the planet.

He Has the Courage to Face Complicated Issues Bob’s predecessor and friend, Pope Francis, took a leadership role focused on the challenge of climate change; he listened to experts from many disciplines and produced a terrific ecological encyclical, Laudato Si. Pope Leo IV is making a similar focus:

…. In his inagural address to the College of Cardinals, he said the church would address the risks that artificial intelligence poses to “human dignity, justice and labor.” And in his first speech to journalists, he cited the “immense potential” of A.I. while warning that it requires responsibility “to ensure that it can be used for the good of all.”

While it is far too early to say how Pope Leo will use his platform to address these concerns or whether he can have much effect, his focus on artificial intelligence shows he is a church leader who grasps the gravity of this modern issue.”[iv]

I appreciate these comments from one of his long-time colleagues: Father Banks said he texted his old boss after Francis died. “I think you’d make a great pope,” he said he wrote, “but I hope for your sake you’re not elected. The cardinal responded, Father Banks said, writing, “‘I’m an American, I can’t be elected.’” He still promptly responds to friends. The pope sometimes signs messages Leo XIV — sometimes Bob.[v]

I don’t envy all the challenges Pope Leo XIV faces. But I’m grateful the world can see a gifted, compassionate leader from America who wants to make a difference for the entire human family.

I like Bob. I wish him well.

[i] “The Small, Tight-Knit Religious Order That Molded Pope Leo XIV,” NY Times, May 13,2025

[ii] New York Times, May 9, 2025

[iii] “Long Drives and Short Homilies: How Father Bob Became Pope Leo,” NYTimes, May 17, 2025

[iv] “Top Priority for Pope Leo: Warn the World of the A.I. Threat,” NYTimes, May 15, 2025

[v] “Long Drives and Short Homilies: How Father Bob Became Pope Leo,” NYTimes, May 17, 2025

Lead image: “Then-Bishop Robert Prevost, now Pope Leo XIV, stands in floodwaters in the Chiclayo Diocese in the aftermath of heavy rains in northwestern Peru in March 2023, in this screenshot from a video by Caritas Chiclayo” (NCR screengrab/Caritas Chiclayo)

When I Worry Too Much, I Look Around

A few days ago, I was sitting in the stands at our grandson’s Little League game. The day’s news was heavy on my mind. I was trying to focus on baseball.

At one point, my attention shifted from the game itself to its setting and context; I asked myself, “What do I see going on here?” I saw a gathering of ethnically diverse, intergenerational families outdoors at a local park on a spring evening watching children play a game. People were cheering for their own team, and for players on the other team who made a good play. Toddlers were meandering near the snack bar and then petting dogs who welcomed the attention. I was reminded the league is entirely run by parent volunteers.

What did I see? I saw a community gathered to nurture children and enjoy simple pleasures, respecting the sport and each other.

I decided to observe other events in my neighborhood.

I rode my bike to a local fruit stand which is in the middle of several farms a mile and a half from my home. There is no attendant present – prices are handwritten on a whiteboard, and you put money through a slot in the payment box. I bought some fresh romaine lettuce, carrots that still had earth on them and the first strawberries of the season.

What did I see? I saw the goodness of the earth, the rewards of farming, and people trusting their neighbors.

Every afternoon between 4 and 5 our mailman makes his deliveries on our street. Many of us know him by name, and he knows us. Sometimes I see him in the morning on a nearby street; as he goes by, he’ll lean out of his truck and say, “Got a package for you – I’ll be dropping off soon!” In our conversations, I’ve learned he’s putting four kids through school — two are in high school and two in college. He’s proud of how hard they are working and their future plans.

What do I see? I see a dedicated federal government employee and public servant. I see our country is still a land of opportunity.

From my office window, I often observe two older women taking a walk. One is a widow who lives by herself. Her friend checks on her every day and they walk together.

What do I see? I see people caring for each another.

One of my current volunteer activities is helping raise $26 million to support the expansion and upgrades for our local neighborhood medical and dental clinics. In our brochures, we state our core belief: “Every person in Santa Barbara deserves compassionate, quality healthcare regardless of income or background.”

What do I see? I see grassroots America in action.

My wife recently got a message from a parent whose son had been in her first-grade class. The family has always been grateful for her teaching. They were inviting us to a production of “Mama Mia” at the local high school in which their son had a leading part. We went. It was terrific. I wondered: where do these forty teenagers get this talent, commitment, and love of theater? And when did “Dancing Queen” ever sound so good?

What did I see? I saw a public school where dedicated teachers and young people are sharing the joys of music, drama, discipline and teamwork.

This weekend we will be attending a Celebration of Life for one of our neighbors, who died at age 86. She worked as an aid with special needs kids in the local school for many years. She lived on a cul-de-sac, and every Halloween, adjacent households joined forces with her for trick-or-treating. Her garage door was wide open, and tables were set on her driveway with a steady supply of candy and water bottles. Over the years, her house became a destination for kids and families near and far; hundreds showed up.

What did I see? I saw people celebrating a holiday by welcoming strangers with open arms.

What I learn from the news can fill me with despair. But when I go out and see everyday people living their lives, I see hard work, kindness, fairness, mutual respect and hope for the future. I think to myself, “This is what makes America great.”

Local Goleta Farms

Spiritual Discernment in an Evolving Universe

Life involves plenty of decision-making: some minor and some life-changing. If we are on a spiritual path, important decisions can become part of our journey of discovery and growth. It’s a process known as discernment.

One description of this process is The Way of Discernment: Spiritual Practices for Decision Making by Elizabeth Liebert.

Liebert writes from a strong Biblical foundation and thorough knowledge of contemplative traditions. But she approaches her topic with a contemporary understanding of life and spirituality:

This understanding begins with the universe as a whole: it is open, flexible, and evolving. On our human level, we experience the boundaries that we call the laws of nature. But when we look either more macroscopically or microscopically, we begin to see the universe is dynamic and ever-changing. … we can expect that God, too, is dynamic, ever-changing, continuously creating – not simply repeating what has already been created. …(and) we are able to participate, with God, in the creation of our future.[i]

In the past, some religious practices were dominated by the question, “Am I good enough?” A more interesting quesiton is: “How can I personally access divine guidance in a way that will deepen my relationship with its source, helping me to navigate my own life while benefitting the world around me?”

Awareness Examen: She first encourages us to find a regular time to reflect on where we notice God’s presence in our day. Some people do this by journaling before going to sleep at night, others by taking time early in the morning to review the prior day. Where did you see signs of grace, blessing, and insight? Like bird watchers who become skilled observers over time, we are more likely to recognize such traces if we practice recognizing them.

Use an Important Decision You Are Facing: Are you facing an important decision about your relationships, responsibilities, or life direction? Write down a simple summary of the decision you want help with. Begin to think carefully about it and open yourself to the Spirit’s guidance. Don’t be in a hurry – the process of finding an answer will take time.

She offers seven different ways we can gather clues.

Memory’s Guidance: Think back to a time in your life when you faced a difficult decision and found a satisfying outcome. How did that happen? Where did you find guidance? What role did other people play? What lessons can you draw from such times?

Intuition: Intuitions come in moments when we seem to suddenly know something through a sudden awareness, idea, or sense of direction. It may appear when we are taking a shower, falling asleep, or waking up. It can come when we are on a walk, doing dishes or gardening. Intuitions may not give us the final answer but can offer important hints.

Body Awareness: Our body can give us clues to our deepest awareness. When we think of a possible direction, does our body tense up or relax? What other physical sensations do we discover when we consider alternatives?

Imagination’s Insight: If we are facing two possible directions in our life, we can use imagination to look at each one separately. If I go Way #1, what might happen, immediately and as time goes on? Imagine that option for several days. Then do the same for Way #2. What do we learn from comparing these two directions? We can also be open to dreams, seeing if they offer clues. We can imagine taking our question to a trusted friend (past or present) for advice; who might that be, and what would they say? Or think about being at the end of your life looking back on this moment of decision –what path would you wish you had taken?

Reason: A common way to approach a decision is to logically think through what we might do and what the consequences might be. We can make a list of pros and cons and compare the lists. (But don’t assume if one side has more items, that’s the one we should choose – it could be the shorter list has more significant points.) Is there someone we know who has a lot of common sense that we can talk to?

Feelings: Modern psychology understands emotions are not “just” feelings which count less than logical ideas. Feelings can reveal deep inner truths. When we reflect on different options, what feelings arise? (Write them down). What does such an emotional inventory tell us?

Nature We can go outdoors on a walk or hike and see if some aspect of nature “speaks to us.” One method is to find an appealing spot to sit quietly for a while. Once we’ve settled in, we then pose the question we are facing. We don’t expect anything immediately. But in time, we might see or hear something that seems to offer us insight. A majestic tree might help us believe that we, too, can survive tough times; an emerging sprout might help us recognize something new wants to grow within us.

If we try any or all of these exercises, we may gradually come to a sense of what direction to pursue. She encourages us to then take a few days and live with this possibility. Does it seem right? Will it help us live more authentically grounded in our core spiritual values?

What I have always liked about Liebert’s work is how she encourages us to be open to guidance, insight, and inspiration from many different senses and ways of knowing. Beyond our digital distractions and limited habits of awareness, our bodies, minds, and hearts can open us to the living, creative, divine Spirit within us and around us. It is there to guide us and bless us. It is up to us seek it.

[i] The Way of Discernment: Spiritual Practices for Decision Making by Elizabeth Liebert, pg. 17

Image: “Fields,” Camille Pissaro, 1877

Pip Discovers the “Power of Money”

I remember reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens in Junior High. I recently thought I would read it again. I am still early in the story but was struck by one scene.

Young Pip has been raised by his irritable older sister and apprenticed to her husband Joe, a humble blacksmith. As Pip goes through his days, we see village life through his young eyes. He has some curious adventures and encounters. A few years pass and he is an adolescent. A lawyer from London comes to see him and tells him an anonymous benefactor has chosen him to be a person of “Great Expectations.” He will become educated as a gentleman and well-financed for life. He is given a generous sum of money to outfit himself with clothes befitting his new status before going to London.

He goes to the shop of Mr. Trabb, the village tailor. Mr. Trabb calls Pip into his kitchen to talk while he is having his breakfast.

“Mr. Trabb,” said I, “It’s an unpleasant thing to have to mention because it looks like boasting; but I have come into a handsome property.”

Mr. Trabb immediately gets up from his meal and begins treating Pip with great care. He also begins ordering his “boy” (his young assistant) around in a loud voice.

When he had at last done and had appointed to send the articles to Mr. Pumblechook’s on the Thursday evening, he said, with his hands upon the parlor lock, “I know, sir, that London gentleman cannot be expected to patronize local work, as a rule; but if you would give me a turn now and then in the quality of a townsman, I should greatly esteem it. Good morning, sir, much obliged –- Door!

The last word was flung at the boy who had not at least notion what it meant. But I saw him collapse as his master rubbed me out of his hands, and my first decided experience of this stupendous power of money, was, that it had morally laid upon his back, Trabb’s boy.[i]

“The stupendous power of money” creates an entirely new world for Pip. His status is instantly elevated by people who paid him little mind the day before. In contrast, the tailor’s “boy” is treated with public disdain by his master; he “collapses” as his low status is “laid upon his back.” Pip sees what money can do: elevate some while demeaning others.

Our youngest daughter once worked for the Santa Barbara International Film Festival. As a staff member, she received a “Platinum Pass.” This not only permitted the holder to attend all events, but to enter the theater before everyone else, walking up a Red Carpet separated by a rope and security guards from excited fans and photographers. She knew there was one particular night I wanted to attend. She said, “Dad, I have to work that night, but you can have my Platinum Pass. And I can escort you into the theater.”

I did not have a personal tailor but dressed up as best I could. We met on the sidewalk outside the theater. She put her arm under mine and we walked onto the Red Carpet. I noticed peoples’ faces as we approached – at first they looked at me with excitement, thinking, “Maybe this guy is important!” But they quickly realized I was not; the facial expressions of joyful anticipation dissolved and they began looking beyond us, hoping for someone worth seeing.

It was my one glimpse of stardom.

But I have had experiences of being in the presence of true greatness.

I once did a graveside service for a woman I did not know well. I met her years before when a mutual friend had asked me to visit her after husband had died; since then we had occasionally seen each other around town. She owned and managed two local dry-cleaning businesses. As I prepared for the service, I spoke to a few of her friends. They told me she had been dedicated to caring for her employees — providing them with full health care coverage when she wasn’t required to and always treating them like family. It was a small gathering. The friends stood closest to the casket. Behind them were the employees, huddled together and weeping quietly. When I finished my part, I invited those who wished to approach the casket to pay their final regards. The employees waited until others had passed by. Then they came one by one, pausing to gently touch the casket in silent reverence.

In moments like these, no one is exalted and no one is demeaned. Everyone is on the same level, united by love and respect.

[i] Great Expectations, Charles Dickens, Vintage Classics, 2012, pg 142

Illustration: “Pip and Joe on the Marshes,” Victorianweb.org

Being Grateful for Our “Inner Savings Account”

“As a lifelong traveler, I felt in my bones how home is not where you happen to live so much as what lives inside you…my inner savings account…the Sufis say that you truly possess only what you cannot lose in a shipwreck.”[i]

I spent five months backpacking in Europe in 1975. One summer day I was hitchhiking in Bavaria from the mountain village of Lindenberg towards Munich. There were few cars on the country road, so I was walking more than riding. I saw a thunderstorm approaching. I noticed a 2-story farmhouse up ahead and realized it might offer some shelter. I got there and huddled under the eaves as the rain began to fall. A few minutes later, the door opened. A woman stepped out and offered me a black umbrella with a wooden handle. I could not speak German well enough to converse with her, but we nodded and smiled at each other. She went back inside. I opened the umbrella and stood under it. Fifteen minutes later, the rain stopped. I shook it off, folded it, fastened the fabric strap around it, and knocked on the door to return it. She opened the door and I handed it to her, bowing my head in gratitude. But she smiled and motioned to me to keep it. Surprised, I thanked her and resumed my trek.

I kept that umbrella with me for the rest of my trip. I took it with me on the flight home. I kept it for years afterward, even as it got frayed. Every time I would pick it up, I was taken back to that moment and the gracious kindness the woman had shown me. I’ve kept the memory all these years. It’s part of my “inner savings account.”

What lives inside us? Memories of many kinds.

How often do you hear a song that takes you back to a time when you first heard it as it was “deposited” into your memory account? How often does a food remind you of your childhood? How valuable are our spiritual expereinces and beliefs? How vividly do we remember the unexpected kindness of strangers?

Isn’t it the case that, the older we get, the more likely we are to draw something from that account and share it with others while we still can? Unlike monetary bank accounts, withdrawing a memory doesn’t mean you lose it; instead, you are keeping it alive.

I have always appreciated listening to peoples’ stories and keen to know what those experiences have taught them about life. I add them to my storehouse of significant experiences, even though they did not happen to me. Learning from the memoires of others is like investing in a communal “mutual fund.” Sharing stories with family, long-time friends, and in spiritual communities is like having shares in “Mutual Memory Funds” from which we all benefit.

As years go on, our ability to access memories in our own personal account may diminish, which is all the more reason to claim them while we can.

Our “Inner Savings Accounts” and “Mutual Memory Funds” are lifetime investments that don’t get lost in shipwrecks, wildfires, floods or fluctuations in the stock market. They are “high yield accounts.” They live with us and with those with whom we share them. I no longer have that umbrella, but what it means to me will never be lost.

[i] My notes tell me this is attributable to the writer and world traveler Emily Hahn.