Maybe Prayers Are Like Snowflakes

One early spring afternoon years ago, I was making the three-hour drive on Interstate 90 from Seattle to our home in central Washington.  The highway passes through Snoqualmie Pass in the Cascade Mountains.  There had been plenty of snow that winter and there were only a few cars on the road as light flurries were falling. I was alone. I heard a loud crashing noise.  On the right side of the road ahead of me I watched a large snow-covered branch fall to the ground from a tall pine tree .  As I continued driving, I wondered how much weight it must take to break that branch off from the trunk of its tree.  How many snowflakes were required to make that happen? Did just one last snowflake tip the balance?

As I continued driving, I wondered if prayers might be like snowflakes.  Individually, they are virtually weightless.  But can they accumulate over time to make something tangible and unexpected happen?

There have been many theories over the centuries about how prayer might actually “work.”  There are many spiritual traditions encouraging people to pray. Many people share stories of how prayer has led to some remarkable outcomes. 

At the same time, many people can remember times when what they prayed for did not come to be.  Much has been written trying to understand “unanswered prayer.”

I have had colleagues in the medical profession recount experiences when they were working with families and individuals who were facing serious health challenges who put all their faith in prayer, sometimes to the exclusion of good science.  If the malady did not disappear, the family was faced not only with the loss of a loved one but questioning their faith as well.

I no longer expect to come up with a definitive answer to what prayer is and just how it “works.” But some stories come to mind. I’m going to share one this week and more in a future posting.

When I arrived to serve my congregation in Goleta, one man who became a friend and mentor was Hank Weaver.  Hank had recently retired after ten years at UCSB in the Education Abroad Program. He was a faithful Mennonite and a lifetime pacifist. Hank was a warm, engaging and brilliant man who walked with a slight limp.  I soon learned his story.  Just two years before, he had been diagnosed with a serious form of cancer in his lower spine.  The initial prognosis indicated he might not have long to live.  He decided to learn as much as he could about what he could do.  He had a PhD in chemistry and, as a dedicated scientist, worked carefully with his oncologist to begin the chemotherapy. 

At this time, people were beginning to use visualization as part of cancer treatment; the idea is you use your imagination in meditatation to visualize the chemo overcoming the cancer.   Hank was told one common example was to imagine cancer cells as small fish swimming in your bloodstream, and the chemo is a shark eating them up one by one.  Hank thought about it and said that wouldn’t work for him due to his belief in nonviolence.  He developed an alternative. He imagined a catfish swimming through his bloodstream, bottom feeding on things his body no longer wanted. 

Hank asked anyone who was willing to pray for his healing to do so, and many did.  One particularly dedicated member (in church speak, a “prayer warrior”) told me she had created an image in her mind of Hank entering the sanctuary fully healed, and many times prayerfully held that image in her mind and soul.  Hank also did all the right things in terms of diet and physical activity.

Months passed.  Slowly, the cancer began to disappear.  Eventually it went into remission.  The damage to his spine meant that his walk would always be impaired, but that was a small price to pay for the outcome.  (He did tell me one benefit of his impairment was the handicapped placard he had now had for his car – he began to get invitations from friends asking to go with him to Dodger games to take advantage of his hard-earned status for a premium parking place.)

Hank ended up self-publishing a book about his experience, Confronting the Big C.  Eventually he and his wife moved to Indiana where he served as interim President of Goshen College before retiring.  Hank had experienced a remarkable healing, and he believed it was the combination of good science and open-minded spirituality that led to his outcome.  He lived twenty-five more years until dying at the age of 93.

I believe Hank would say there are no guaranteed outcomes in this life.  None of us are getting out of here alive, and death will eventually take every one of us. But when facing serious challenges, we can choose to gather and employ all the best resources to increase our chances for a desired outcome.  We may never know how all these different forces – medical, spiritual, social, emotional – might interact with each other.  Some effects we can see and measure. But others, like prayer, may involve forces that are small and subtle.  But that doesn’t mean they can’t make things happen.

Image: Fineartamerica, Tera Fraley

“Old Truth”

                  This past week, my wife and I went north to spend a few days in the presence of Mt. Shasta. While there, I thought often of a recent poem by my treasured friend and long-time colleague, Rabbi Steve Cohen. To me, these words are timeless — like the mountain. Given the state of our world, they are also timely. I’m sharing the poem with you this week.

“Old Truth”

Today we need Old Truth.

We thought it had died so we buried it.

The fact is that we tore down the Old Truth

because it seemed to be a rotten timber.

It had been twisted into a pillar of slavery and oppression

so we tore it down and buried it.

But today we need it again,

remembered and restored to its original sacred power.

When Old Truth goes silent, the Pharoah speaks:

“It is mine, this Nile; I made it for myself.”

Pharoah throws every boy that is born into the river

and says: “Who is God, that I should heed His voice?”

Who, indeed, is God?

How might He deliver us from this Pharoah,

this crocodile king, lying in the river,

certain that he is god, and that he will rule forever?

We need the Old Truth

Not some artificial intelligence, but our Old Human Intelligence.

We still remember that Voice, speaking to us from out of the fire:       

“I am the Lord your God Who brought you forth from the Land of Egypt”

“The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to Me from the earth””

“Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.”

We used to stand in class and pledge to be

“One nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all.”

Many times in history, human hands have

“hurled Truth to the ground”

But always, with time, with courage and with help from God,

“Truth springs up from the earth,

and justice gazes down from Heaven.”

You can explore more of Rabbi Steve’s writings at https://www.rabbistevecohen.com.

(sources:  Ezekiel 29:9; Exodus 5:2; Exodus 20:2; Genesis 3:10; Micah 6:8; Daniel 8:12; Psalms 85:11)

“Have You Seen This Dog?” — Thoughts on Getting Away

(Dear Reader: I had a few tech challenges getting this posted…I hope this comes through now…)

Some years ago, we had a dog named Andy.  He was a feisty soul who lived 18 years.  One day, I had parked our car in the driveway and, for reasons I cannot remember, left him there for a few minutes.  I returned for him, saw him in this pose and took the photo.

Just for fun, the next day I made flyers with “Have You Seen This Dog?” in large print and the photo below it.  I added a comment that he was last seen driving a gray Honda Odyssey van on Patterson Avenue and included my contact info.  I posted the flyer a few on telephone poles in our neighborhood.  No one seemed to notice.  A few days later I took them down.

Earlier this week I happened to come across the photo again.  Something about it called to me — I thought about that impulse we can have to “get away.” 

Do you ever feel this desire?

Maybe it’s just taking a break from our daily tasks and getting outdoors to take a walk. Or going out to spend time with friends. Or engaging in a physical or creative practice that reminds us of our inner capacity to experience new things.  We often return from such activities with renewed energy and optimism.  

The desire may lead us to travel.   I am constantly thinking about trips I want to take to places I’ve never been. The travel industry offers us images and catalogues that stimulate that desire even more.  If we have traveled to a new country or culture, we may return with an increased knowledge of how other people live, what the world offers, and our own possibilities.

Sometimes we “get away” for distraction and entertainment. Sometimes we do so for something deeper.

From a spiritual perspective, many transformational figures have found new direction by “getting away” from what’s familiar to find something new – Buddha, Abraham and Sarah, Moses, Elijah, Jesus, Mohammed and countless others who have gone on vision quests and personal pilgrimages.

In my years of involvement at La Casa de Maria Retreat Center, I saw countless people arrive feeling burned out, sensing they needed a new direction.  They found an environment designed to encourage personal renewal.  They were free to wander the 26 acres of oak trees set alongside a running creek.  They could choose to rest, meditate or reflect at one of the spiritual gardens.  Wonderful food was provided.  Naps were encouraged. Unhurried conversations could take place.  There were no television screens to distract attention.  Time after time, people left feeling like their purpose in life was once again clear. They had found new hope and courage.

When we return from these kind of journeys, we may not feel the need to “get away” again any time soon.  Instead, we can face our life, responsibilities and opportunities with clarity and confidence.  We accept whatever limitations we may have, but now with a willingness to acknowledge them, making the best of the time and resources we have. 

It’s good to get away.  It’s also good to come home.

In my pastoral and hospice experiences, it was often instructive to see how many people at the end of life found purpose and meaning in simple things: personal relationships, a few treasured memories, and an awareness that life is a marvelous mystery and gift.  They didn’t feel a need to be anywhere other than where they were.

I could have asked Andy what led him to take the wheel and contemplate getting away that day.  Was it some deep spiritual calling? Or just a hope he could find a household with better food?  But Andy never wanted to talk about his deeper feelings, and I respected that.  I do know that as I opened the car door, picked him up, and brought him into the house he seemed glad to be home once again.

Visualizing the Christmas Stories

Over the years, I’ve grown in appreciation for the different ways artists imagine and portray traditional stories.  The Advent and Christmas season is a great example.  Here are a few of the works I have come to treasure over the years.

The Angel Visits Mary

A young peasant girl named Mary receives a surprise visit from the angel Gabriel, who announces she has been chosen to bear a child with a divine destiny. In 1485, Botticelli imagined it this way:

…the incoming of the divine Spirit seems to almost be knocking the angel over as it travels towards Mary.

In 1898, the English painter Tanner imagined it this way:

…the “angel” appears as a shaft of pure light; Mary seems to be contemplating what she is experiencing.

Joseph’s Dreams

Mary was engaged to Joseph, and when he discovers she is pregnant, he decides to break the engagement. But an angel appears in a dream and changes his mind. 

In 1645, the French painter Georges de La Tour imagined it this way:

Joseph has fallen asleep in a chair while reading, and the unseen messenger is near him with an unseen candel illuminating the space between them as the dream is transmitted.

After the child is born, the family must flee due to threats from the government.  In the process, Jospeph is twice more guided by dreams.  In 1645, Rembrandt imagined one of those times this way:

…the angel is in the room with Mary and Joseph as they sleep.  The angel extends the left hand to Mary while touching Joseph’s shoulder to impart the dream.

“The Visitation” — Mary Visits Her Older Cousin Elizabeth

In this episode, the newly pregnant Mary travels south to visit her older cousin Elizabeth, whom the angel Gabriel had told her has also become pregnant.  When Mary arrives and greets Elizabeth, the baby in Elizabeth’s womb senses Mary’s presence and “leaps” in response; the women share an intimate moment of mutual knowing.

In 1440, the sculptor Luca Della Robia created this scene:

…here’s a close-up of the two women looking into each other’s eyes:

In 1530, the Italian painter Pontormo envisioned it this way:

…this image also merits a close-up of the faces as they behold each other:

That woman between the two of them who is looking at us — what does she want us to understand?  No one knows for sure.  I was excited to view this in person recently when it was at the Getty Museum a few years ago.

The Birth of the Child

In 1500, Botticelli created this scene, which he called “Mystic Nativity:”

…the manger is in the center of the picture…Joseph is asleep…Mary and the child are gazing at each other…while above, below, and around them, angels dance in celebration.

In 1646, Rembrandt created this contrasting version:

Simple, earthy, quiet, intimate.

And in 1865, the pioneering British photographer Julia Margaret Cameron created a “Nativity” scene in her studio using working class people as her models:

Great spiritual stories can contain a “surplus of meaning” – there is not just one way they can be interpreted or portrayed.  Just as scientists use math to reveal important truths, artists engage our imagination.  Our souls welcome this.  Imagination allows us to see beyond the surface of life into the mysteries and wonder which surround us.

Merry Christmas, dear readers!

Lead image: “L’Annuncio” (The Annunciation), Salvado Dali, 1967

The Fragrance of a Christmas Tree

              The holiday season can be full of sensory experiences that call forth memories and emotions.  I recently came into a room that had been decorated with an advent wreath, pine tree cuttings, and a live Christmas tree. The fragrance was inspiring, and I’ve been thinking about why.  Do any of these associations resonate with you?

  • It reminds me of childhood.  Going to a Christmas tree lot which smelled amazing.  Bringing the tree home and letting it fill our home with that aroma.  The odor became the olfactory backdrop for all the joy of the season.
  • It calls to mind being in a forest. It could be the Sierra Nevada, the Cascades, or any other forest — places many of us have gone for vacation and renewal.  The trees could be pine, fir, cedar, or redwood, but the association is the same: we have left our distracted lives and are now in a natural cathedral of quiet and timeless living beings.  
  • Smelling the fragrance calls forth the color green – always a sign of life.
  • The fragrance smells clean. Maybe it’s the association with being in nature. I don’t know why but that comes to mind.
  • And the more I thought about it, another word that comes to mind is pure.  The fragrance of a live Christmas tree is evocative on its own; it doesn’t need anything added.  But the aroma at this time of year complements the visual experience of gazing at lit candles in a darkened room or quiet sanctuary: they both suggest the mysterious source of life is with us, fresh and full of promise.  Our eyes behold a symbol of that truth, and the fragrance of a Christmas tree, wreaths and cuttings confirm it. Light and life arise in darkness and the darkness will never overcome it.

Our Frames of Mind

              In the fifth game of the World Series, Toronto pitcher Trey Yesavage — a young man who has only been pitching in the major leagues for a few months — faced the most feared hitter in baseball, Shohei Ohtani:

Ohtani led off the bottom of the first inning with a comebacker. Yesavage bobbled the ball and then dropped it, but he had what you might call veteran poise, picking up the ball and throwing what Toronto manager John Schneider called “kind of a shovel pass” to first base for the out.  “The fact that he kind of shoveled it the way he did and kind of had a little smile on his face,” Schneider said, “it actually gives you a little bit of confidence that he’s in the right frame of mind.” (October 30, LA Times)

              What is the “right frame of mind” in this situation? It seems it’s being in a high-pressure situation, making a mistake, not losing your cool, remembering your purpose, and accomplishing your task – with “a little smile.”  Doing that demonstrated “veteran poise.”  Yesavage maintained that poise, set World Series pitching performance records that night, and helped his team win the game.

              This has got me thinking about the term, “frame of mind.”

              A picture frame is a structure we use to hold something we want to see well.  We choose a particular frame to highlight the photo or painting it will border. A good frame focuses our attention on what is important. 

A “frame of mind” is an attitude we use that helps us focus on who we want to be and what we want to accomplish.

              I’ve been thinking about “frames of mind” I have seen in action.

              I worked with a church custodian who always displayed a positive attitude no matter what the challenge might be.  One time I asked him how he did that.  He said he used to be a person who often complained.  But then he visited a pediatric oncology ward and saw children being treated for life-threatening illness. That day he decided he would never again let himself complain about everyday problems.  The experience helped shaped his frame of mind every day.

              Some years ago, I attended a special installation service for a new Catholic bishop. In his remarks, he said he had had polio when he was young, and though he had largely recovered, he was still falling occasionally.  “If you are with me when that happens,” he said, “…don’t become anxious… just extend your hand to me, help me to my feet, and we will go on.  And if, as your bishop, I make a mistake, don’t become anxious – just extend your hand to me, help me back to where I should be, and we will go on.” 

              At a conference last year at Westmont College, a group of staff members were interviewed about their jobs.  They were asked if they had any favorite Scripture verses to guide them in their work. A long-time student advisor cited 2 Corinthians 4:18: “…for we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen, for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.”  When she began working with a student, that verse helped her focus not on her initial impressions but on what the student’s deepest concerns and hopes might be.

              I recently heard a presentation from a colleague who had been the chair of an academic department.  One of his responsibilities was to interview people being considered for teaching positions. He established a practice of meeting each candidate for breakfast at a particular restaurant.  While they were talking, he observed how the candidate treated the waiter and employees who came to the table: did the candidate demonstrate courtesy and respect, or did they act as if the employees didn’t matter?  He came to believe that this behavior would predict how the person would treat students and anyone of “lesser status.”  He would only recommend the people who showed respect. 

              Spiritual traditions and practices can remind us of how we can find deeper meaning in life and how we can best serve others, offering us “frames” for doing that well.

              What frame of mind we choose as we go through our day will shape how we experience each day and our effect on other people.  A good frame can help us keep our poise, perspective, and purpose. And when we make mistakes, it can empower us to maintain our composure and do our best to still get the job done – with a little smile.

Lead Image: “Person Carrying a Big Empty Frame Outdoors,” freepik.com

Are You an “Everyday Mystic?”

For centuries, a “mystic” was someone who had a rare and unique spiritual experience, different from what most of us would ever know.

This is reflected in the word itself: The term mystic is derived from the Greek noun “mystes,” which originally designated an initiate of a secret cult or mystery religion.   In Classical Greece and during the Hellenistic Age, the rites of the mystery religions were largely or wholly secret. The term” mystes” is itself derived from the verb “myein” (“to close,” especially the eyes or mouth) and signified a person who kept a secret.[i]

But in recent years, the term “everyday mystic” has come into use. Here’s one description:

An “everyday mystic” is someone who seeks or experiences spiritual depth and transcendence within ordinary daily life, rather than through withdrawal from the world or extreme ascetic practices.

The concept suggests that mystical experience—that sense of connection to something greater, moments of profound awareness, or spiritual insight—doesn’t require monasteries, retreats, or renouncing worldly responsibilities. Instead, everyday mystics find the sacred in mundane activities: washing dishes, walking to work, caring for children, or sitting in traffic.[ii]

I have known quite a few “everyday mystics.” They don’t try to be different or better than anyone else — they are simply doing something they feel called to do and, in the process, find a deep connection beyond and within themselves.  They don’t do it for money, or to prove their worth, or to puff up their ego. 

Some examples came to my mind:

  1. A physical therapist who told me there were times working with patients when his mind would become quiet and he would feel as if light was passing through him to the person he was treating.
  2. Farmers, gardeners and hikers who sense a silent and limitless bond with the earth and the mysterious processes which underly all life.
  3. Musicians who feel as if the music is playing through them.
  4. Grandparents when they behold their grandchildren.  They had loved their own children from the moment each child was born, but so much of parenting is about being a manager, behavior coach and the one person responsible for everything to do with the child. But then a grandchild appears and seeing them evokes a sense of pure wonder.
  5. Artists who get immersed in their process and end up creating something far beyond what they could have imagined when they started and don’t know how it happened.
  6. Mechanics who have an innate sense of what is wrong with a car and how to fix it with the least cost and effort, working in harmony with all the moving parts instead of simply using their will to fix something that is wrong.
  7. A young man who told me he was pitching for his college team and for a few innings the ball seemed to go exactly where he intended every time.  The experience passed and he never had it again.  He could not explain how it happened but has never forgotten what it felt like.
  8. Golfers who watch a ball rise and fall through the air with a grace and purpose that feels as if something more is present than a little ball being struck.
  9. Ocean swimmers who love the mystery of being on the surface of the limitless sea, and who feel deeply at home in salt water—perhaps sensing an unbroken thread of experience going back to our pre-human ancestors as well as our personal life as it began in the womb.
  10. People who know they are dying and “descend into the heart,” losing their fear and becoming open and observant towards everything around them.

Richard Rohr said, “For me, “mysticism” simply means experiential knowledge of spiritual things, as opposed to book knowledge, secondhand knowledge, or even church knowledge.”[iii]

Huston Smith said, “Most mystics do not want to read religious wisdom; they want to be it. A postcard of a beautiful lake is not a beautiful lake, and Sufis may be defined as those who dance in the lake.”[iv]

We can always be grateful when such moments come to us.

“Hands Cradling a Child’s Head,” Kathe Kollwitz, 1920

[i] https://www.britannica.com/topic/mysticism

[ii] https://claude.ai/chat/468625b2-74aa-4984-ba6e-8eb7f17a257a

[iii] https://cac.org/daily-meditations/sidewalk-spirituality/

[iv] Huston Smith, Jeffery Paine (2012). “The Huston Smith Reader,” p.93, Univ of California Press

Lead Image: “Ocean Swimmer In Thick Fog Near Reykjaice,” storyblocks.com

Cat Stevens Went Away — and Came Back

“When he was a child in Catholic school in London, (he) asked a nun, Sister Anthony, what might have been his first existentialist question: “When do the angels start writing down your sins?”

After a pause, she told him the scorecard began when children turn 8, a relief since he was still a year or two away. 

“Religion constantly made me feel guilty about nice-looking things,” he writes in his book. “But balancing those kind of fearful images with what was going on outside the doors of the church after school, I felt the pull of the world mighty overpowering.”[i] 

The boy to whom Sister Anthony was speaking to was Steven Georgiou.  The call to find some beauty in the outside world led him to become a musician and a songwriter. He had gifts which he developed and shared. He changed his name to Cat Stevens.

I remember well the impact he made on my generation. In 1970 much of the music of the time reflected angst and outrage.  But then albums came out that carried with them a softer tone.  James Taylor’s Sweet Baby James was one.  Another was Cat Stevens’ Tea for the Tillerman, with songs like “Where Do the Children Play?” and “Wild World.” Then came his biggest selling album, “Teaser and the Firecat.”  We heard songs like “Moonshadow,” “Peace Train,” and the English hymn, “Morning Has Broken.” There was still social concern, but the mood was more poignant, reflective and hopeful.

Several years later, Cat Stevens disappeared.  Word came he had given up music and become a Muslim, taking the name Yusuf Islam.  Only recently has he seemed to resurface. In a recent interview in the New York Times, he shared highlights of his spiritual journey which includes three close encounters with death. 

The first came when he was a teenager.  He and some friends were jumping between rooftops when he slipped and one of his buddies saved him from falling at the last second.  The second came when he was 20 and discovered he had tuberculosis.  Then there was the third:

Late in 1975, soon after Islam turned 27, his career seemed to be flagging. While he waited for lunch with his manager and label boss in Malibu, Calif., he decided to swim in the Pacific. After 15 minutes in the cold water, he tried to head back, only to find that the current was sweeping him to sea.

“I thought I could swim well, but I could not fight or beat the ocean. I had only seconds left,” Islam, 77, said recently during a video interview from a rented London apartment. So he prayed, insisting that, if he lived, he would work for God. A wave pushed him forward. “When I realized my vulnerability, what else could I do? My body was disappearing. I had only my soul left.”[ii] He began an earnest spiritual journey which led to his conversion to Islam in 1977.

Recently I’ve been in group discussions where a key concept of Richard Rohr’s has kept surfacing.  According to Rohr, our spiritual journeys can often go through three phases: order, disorder, and reorder.  In the “order” stage, we have clear ideas about who we are and what we believe.  But times can come when it’s not making sense anymore – we experience things that challenge that clear sense of order.  We enter “disorder,” a kind of spiritual wilderness where we are not sure what we can trust and believe. But eventually, we can form a new sense of direction and place – our world has been reordered.  And the process can keep repeating.

Looking back on Cat Stevens’ life, it seems he went from the order of his Catholic upbringing, to the disorder of seeking a new identity “outside the doors of the church,” to finding a new reorder as a rock star, to finding that was not enough and entering a new time of disorder as a spiritual seeker.  Eventually he found a new reorder as a devout Muslim which included giving up music.  In recent years, he’s looked for yet a new reorder in his life, integrating his faith with his musical gifts.  He has gone away and come back more than once – something he needed to do to adapt to life while also honoring his soul.

I find many of us go through similar journeys.  We’ve gone through phases of being settled, then unsettled. Then settled again. Then unsettled.  We may not come close to drowning in the ocean like he did at age 27, but we experience our “vulnerability” as we deal with changes and challenges in our personal life, relationships and world; as years go on, we may even feel our bodies are slowly “disappearing.”  But the spiritual life is a pilgrimage in which we are constantly learning and adapting.  Along the way, it’s a beautiful thing to realize we will always have our “soul left.”  And we can be grateful for those who are sharing the journey with us.

For an old, grainy video of Cat Stevens singing “Moonshadow” in 1971 before an adoring crowd of long-haired fans, click on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGNxKnLmOH4

[i] “As Cat Stevens, He Knew That He Had to Go Away,” NYTimes, Sept 21, 2025

[ii] Ibid.

I Still Think About a List I Made a Long Time Ago

                  In the early 1980s we were living in Santa Paula, California where I was an Assistant Pastor. There was a new movement emerging in America – hospice.  I was asked to be on the local board of directors that was forming.  I had little personal experience with death, dying or grief but was honored to be asked and curious to learn what I could.  I said yes.

                  On a Saturday afternoon a small group of us participated in a training event.  At one point we were given a sheet of paper with a numbered list of twenty blank spaces.  Without much of an introduction, we were asked to write down 20 things we value in life.  I don’t have my copy anymore, but I think it looked something like this:

20 Things I Value in Life

  1. Being with my family.
  2. Being with friends.
  3. My spiritual beliefs and community.
  4. Swimming in the ocean.
  5. Eating good food (doesn’t have to be fancy).
  6. Going to musical concerts.
  7. Going to baseball games.
  8. Watching movies.
  9. Traveling to Europe (or anywhere I haven’t been).
  10. Reading good books about history.
  11. Playing sports like softball and pick-up basketball.
  12. Learning about other cultures.
  13. Meeting new people.
  14. Volunteering in the community.
  15. Advocating for peace and justice.
  16. Taking naps.
  17. Spending a day at the beach.
  18. Fresh, ripe fruit.
  19. Learning new skills.
  20. Hearing people recount how they got through hard times.

When we finished, we turned to another person and shared our list.  It felt good to realize so many things brought us joy and meaning.

The facilitator then said, “Now I want you to cross ten items off your list.”

That sounded easy but wasn’t.  I thought, “I don’t want to give up any of these.”  Then, “I don’t like this exercise.” 

When we finished, she said: “Now I want everyone to cross off five more.”  This was almost frightening.  I tried to imagine what five things I could give up.  My life was becoming very limited.

“Now cross out three so you have only two left.”

This was painful.  What is life about when you can’t do so many things you have learned to enjoy?

When the last person finished, she led a discussion.   She didn’t ask us what our last two items were.  She did ask, “What did that feel like?”

We all agreed it was difficult.

She said, “For most people, the two last things they hold on to are family and faith.”  Those were my last two.

She then told us this is what having a terminal illness can be like.  Your life gets smaller and smaller as you are able to do less and less.

That day I learned two lessons I have carried with me.

The first lesson is to have empathy for people for whom this is not an exercise but reality.  I won’t know what it’s like until I get there, but I try to imagine.  I want to be supportive of anyone I encounter who is on this journey.

The second lesson is to appreciate the things I value while I can.  At this point in my life, I can’t participate in rigorous sports anymore but feel fortunate to still enjoy most of the items on my original list.  I’m grateful for whatever time I have left.

What’s on your list?

When Scales Fall From Our Eyes

“The phrase “the scales fall from your eyes” means to suddenly understand the truth about something that was previously unclear or hidden. It often refers to a moment of realization or enlightenment.”[i]

A friend once confided to me about an experience she had at a niece’s wedding.  She had not seen the young woman for some time and was excited to travel across country for the celebration.  When she first saw the bride and groom, she was struck by how “generously built” both were and couldn’t get that thought out of her mind.  The time came for the bridal dance. As the couple stepped toward each other, they looked into each other’s eyes, and my friend said their faces were full of love and happiness.  She said she was ashamed she had initially noticed only their outward appearance while being blind to their inner beauty.

Some years ago, I attended a five-day seminar in Berkeley with Marcus Borg, a prominent New Testament scholar.  Borg was a calm, gifted and insightful teacher who prized good thinking and careful reflection.  On the last day, one of the students asked him if he’d had any mystical experiences.  He acknowledged he had but was reluctant to share. The students pressed him, however, and he told us his story.

After spending time in Israel, he and his wife had boarded a plane home. He had settled in his seat and was quietly observing the other passengers as they boarded. One man caught his interest – Borg couldn’t help but note he was particularly awkward looking.  He also remembered looking at the back of the seat in front of him and thinking the vinyl upholstery seemed noticeably dull.  He settled in and the plane soon took off.

A little while later, Borg felt the presence of light growing in the cabin.  It seemed to illuminate everything around him with an unusual radiance; he was transfixed. He could tell no one else was seeing what he was seeing. The other passengers were immersed in this light, and each person seemed to be a wonder to behold; the gentleman who had looked awkward now seemed to bear a palpable dignity. Even the back of the seat in front of him now seemed fascinating.  Borg’s wife could tell something unusual was occurring to him and asked him if he was OK; he nodded to assure her he was, not wanting to break the spell.  

The mysterious light slowly began to dissipate, and soon everything in the cabin looked normal again.  But he could not forget how, in those moments, it seemed he was seeing “reality” as it “really is” – permeated with light.

(In the stories shared by hospice workers and volunteers, this is not an unusual experience as people come to the boundary of this life.)

The phrase “the scales fall from your eyes” means to suddenly understand the truth about something that was previously unclear or hidden. It often refers to a moment of realization or enlightenment.

We go along in life, living with routine assumptions about the people we see and believing we know what “reality” is like.  Then we have moments when “the scales fall from our eyes.”  Like my friend at the wedding, we may suddenly discover how easily we misjudge other people when we look only at their outward appearance and instead begin to appreciate them in new ways.  Like Professor Borg on the airplane, a sense of awe and wonder can come over us unexpectedly, suggesting there is a radiant presence within the everyday objects and people we encounter. 

It can be a shock to realize scales are falling from our eyes.  It can be liberating to discover what new truths are now revealed.


[i] Online version of the Cambridge Dictionary

Lead image: “Airplane window view with wing at sunrise;” Freepik.com