What Tom Taught Me

              My goal after college in March 1974 was to make enough money to go backpacking in Europe.

I began working for a title insurance company in Santa Ana that spring. A fellow employee was Tom, an “older” Englishman (probably in his sixties).  Tom wore short-sleeved white shirts and a dark tie every day; his hair and mustache were gray, and he was always calm and helpful with everyone.  I discovered he had been a research assistant for Will and Ariel Durant, authors of the 10-volume series The Story of Civilization, which my family had proudly owned.  I sought Tom out at coffee and lunch breaks to listen to his stories and discuss my dream of traveling.

              After a few months, I realized I wasn’t making enough money.  I moved back home to San Bernardino and made better money painting houses.  By the next spring, I had saved $1,500.  I was beginning to question whether I should spend that on travel or buy a VW Squareback.  But I felt I needed to ask Tom for advice.   I called to arrange a visit in Santa Ana.

              When we met, I told him I was thinking of delaying my trip to buy the car. He smiled and shook his head.  “You need to go now when you are free from responsibilities,” he said.  “You never know at what age you might get married and have kids and never have this opportunity again.”

              I told him I was planning to travel through Western Europe from late April into early summer, ending with time in Greece.  Then I was going to meet a friend in Germany who said she could help me get a job. 

              He gave me three suggestions.

              “If you are in Spain, you need to cross over to Morocco.”

              “But I have no interest in Morocco.”

              “Trust me,” he said.

              “Be sure to go to Venice.  It’s sinking and may be gone in the future.”

              Then he told me that there may come a time when I would be stuck someplace and not know what to do.  “When that happens, just find a place to sit down.  Someone will appear.”

              While I was in Spain, I debated going to Morocco.  But based on Tom’s advice, I made the ferry crossing and took a bus to the ancient city of Fez.

              When I arrived in Fez I felt like I was stepping back in time into the Arabian Nights.  I got a hotel with a balcony open to the city.  At first, I was put off by the Arabic calls to prayer that were broadcast across the city five times a day. But as I listened more carefully, I sensed a great spiritual yearning in what was being sung.  The city itself turned out to be fascinating.

              I crossed back to Spain, made my way to Italy and spent two days in Venice.

Then I went to Rome, and after a few days took a ferry to Greece.

In Athens, I contacted a girl whom I had befriended when she was an exchange student at my high school.  She invited me to share a memorable meal with her family at a local restaurant.  I told her I wanted to visit a Greek island, and she recommended Ios –  Homer’s birthplace and a quieter place than the more popular tourist destinations.

              My money was beginning to run low, so I sent a telegram home asking my father to forward my next allotted funds to the post office in Ios. 

              I got to the island and discovered I could sleep on the beach for free and eat cheaply.  For three days, I showed up at the post office after the ferry delivered the daily mail, but the money did not come. Finally, I realized I was broke. 

I wasn’t sure what to do.  Then I remembered Tom’s advice.  I went to the village square and sat on a bench near a fountain.  I waited to see what would happen.

              Two German girls passed by with their backpacks. They stopped and greeted me, asking for advice on where to stay.  I told them I was sleeping for free on a local beach and that they were welcome to try it.  They asked what I was doing. I told them I had just run out of money.  They said they’d be glad to lend me some until my funds came. 

We ended up sharing the beach spot and becoming friends.  Two days later, the money came. I paid them back. They gave me their address in Stuttgart and encouraged me to visit.

              I left Greece and made my way to Germany, where I met my friend.  I was offered a job at a local cheese factory, but my application for a work permit was denied a week later. Before going home, I made a brief stop in Stuttgart to visit my friends from Ios.

              I flew home in August and resumed my American life.

  A year later I fell in love, and a year after that got married; soon we had our first child.

              I lost contact with Tom long ago.  But over the years, I’ve often thought about his advice to me that day.

              He was right about making the trip while I had no responsibilities.  My trip will always be one of the great adventures of my life – more valuable than any car.

              He was right about Morocco.  Going there gave me my first appreciation for Arabic culture, which has grown over time.

              Venice?  It’s still there, but I’m glad I saw it.

              And being stuck and not knowing what to do? Sometimes just sitting down and waiting invites surprising things to happen.  I’m still not sure how that works.

I will always appreciate the wisdom and encouragement Tom gave me.

Let us be grateful for the relationships and conversations we’ve had with some of those “older” people that turned out to be lasting gifts on our journeys.

Lead Image: Fez, Morocco