pocket epiphanies – Page 6 – Steve Jacobsen, Ed.D

What Do We Know?

“Even though life is quite a sad business, you can have a good time in the middle of it. I like to laugh, and I think the unsung, real literary geniuses of the world are people who write jokes. Both the Irish and Jews are very fatalistic, but they laugh a lot. Only the Protestants think that every day in every way, life is getting better and better. What do they know? — American writer Mary Gordon (daughter of a Jewish father and Irish Catholic mother)

My beloved mentor Huston Smith once gave a talk at the Lobero Theater here in Santa Barbara. With a smile, he announced his theme: “Five Things You Won’t Agree With.” One theme was “There’s no such thing as progress.”[i]

Huston told the story of being a young American scholar in the 1960s when he was invited to speak on the future of society at a conference In Europe. He spoke glowingly of what he thought the century would bring. After he finished, the next speaker said, “Professor Smith has just spoken out of 200 years of American successes. I’m now going to speak from 1,000 years of European failures.” Huston listened and was humbled.

He went on to say that, to be sure, some things have improved in our modern life. Plumbing, for one. Public health, for another. And there has been some progress in human rights. But in many ways, our human nature has not changed. We have not outgrown the destructive impulses of our ancestors. No century in human history saw as many people die in war as the 20^th – somewhere close to 50 million. Some things are better, but we are a long way from having the world we would like to have. Those “Protestants” who “think that every day in every way, life is getting better and better – what do they know?”

This perspective could lead to being “fatalistic” – why bother trying to make anything better? I don’t think that’s an option.

Social teachings of the Jewish, Catholic, Protestant, and many secular traditions have always included a strong emphasis on “trying to make the world a better place.” Basic compassion and a spiritual calling compel us to do all we can to confront hunger, poverty, injustice, violence, and threats to human dignity. Here and there, there are signs of “progress.”

We moved to Santa Barbara in 1992. With our daughters active in athletics, we became passionate supporters of the UC Santa Barbara women’s basketball team — along with many in my congregation. The team was having great success, making it to the “Sweet Sixteen” in 2004. One year we invited the outstanding center to speak at the beginning of our worship service. She was several inches over six feet tall, and it was striking to see her walk down the aisle and step to the pulpit with poise and ease. UCSB had just won a dramatic game against the University of Hawaii the night before, and someone asked her if she had prayed for a win. She said she did pray at halftime – but not to win. She simply prayed that she would do her best, whatever the outcome. Everyone sensed this young woman possessed great inner strength and character.

A few days later, I ran into Michelle, one of our members. I asked her what she thought of hearing the player speak. Michelle said she had wept. That surprised me and I asked her why. As a woman who was six feet tall herself, as a teenager she was constantly walking bent over with slumped shoulders so she wouldn’t seem as tall as she was. But on Sunday, when this tall, young woman entered to the delight and admiration of the congregation, she realized how much had changed in just one generation. Her tears that morning were tears of gratitude that maybe life for young women was improving.

On the other hand, I remember visiting the “Museum of Communism” in Prague in 2020. The museum was divided into three sections: “The Promise,” “The Reality,” and “The Nightmare.” “The Promise” told the story of the genuine idealism that had convinced many earnest people to support the revolutions in the early decades of the last century. “The Reality” displayed exhibits of how this social experiment was troubled from the start. “The Nightmare” showed how grim and heartless communist societies became. People hoped they could make society “better and better”, but it was not to be.

I believe we should never give up trying to make the world a better place. At the same time, we can recognize our human nature has a dark side that may resist and undo our best-laid plans and hopes. Along the way, we welcome the great artists in our midst who help us laugh:

[i] I previously wrote on one of the other points: “Living on the Back Side of the Tapestry”

Answering Mr. Vinegar

In a writing class I took from Marilyn McEntyre, she mentioned we all have different “personas” within us. She encouraged us to experiment with writing from the perspective of each one. Maybe it’s a familiar concept, but it was new to me.

Reflecting on Marilyn’s invitation, I realized the “voice” I usually seek to embody when writing is a thoughtful and patient one. It looks for grace and wisdom in a variety of situations – I could call it the “Mr. Nice Guy” voice. But the more I thought about it, I realized it was not the only voice within me. I can summon up a “bad boy” voice –- one that’s skeptical, judgmental, smug, and cynical. (What some psychologists would call a part of my “shadow side.”) As I began to become more aware of it, I found it to be quite amusing. I’ve given that voice the name of “Mr. Vinegar.”

Recently I’ve been hearing from Mr. Vinegar just as I am finishing writing one of these blog posts. I usually ignore him. But this week, I decided to let Mr. Vinegar have a conversation with Mr. Nice Guy.

Here’s what the conversation sounds like.

MR VINEGAR: “Well, Steve, everything you write is so pleasant. One week you have a nice epiphany while contemplating an oak tree. Another week maybe it’s a little birdie on a branch. Another week it’s all about some amazing spider web. But you know, Mr. Nice Guy, the world we live in is a mess. There’s the war in Gaza and Israel, a war in Ukraine, the breakdown of our politics, the rapid creep of Artificial Intelligence into our lives, global warming, personal tragedies everywhere you look…Why do you avoid these topics? Afraid?”

MR NICE GUY: “Well, Mr. Vinegar, that’s a good question. I’ll tell you why I do what I do.

“I think there are many troubling events in the world. I worry that Russia will overcome Ukraine and we’ll be back in a Cold War that will destabilize a peace in Western Europe we’ve taken for granted for 80 years. I see the immense tragedies in Gaza and Israel – friends on both sides are frantic with concern – and I don’t think anyone knows when or how it will get resolved. I truly believe we need to show respect for all sides in our political discussions, but I am deeply concerned that we may re-elect a man who delights in ignoring and mocking the rule of law and being a corrosive personal force.

“And A.I.? That worries me more than almost anything else. It will certainly have some beneficial effects. But it’s creeping into our lives and millions of people will start depending on it. Many will find it irresistible to use for selfish and destructive ends. Kids aren’t going to know what it’s like to have to labor over writing an essay or a poem. Our “entertainment options” are going to become wild and warped. Unscrupulous political leaders, countries, and crime cartels are going to find A.I. to be an unprecedented weapon to use for their own purposes. It’s the end of an Age of Innocence. We won’t know what news report, what video, what photo, or what information sources we can trust. We will become increasingly enfeebled, dependent, and distrustful.

“And global warming? It’s very sobering. Especially for the poorest people on the planet who don’t have the freedom and resources to adapt.

“So yes, Mr. Vinegar, I see and worry about these things. But I don’t write about these topics much because there are many others more qualified than me to do that, and I avoid the debilitating effect of constantly focusing on bad news and crises.”

MR VINEGAR “What you just said – did that feel a little risky? Is it hard to talk about the scary stuff? Afraid you’ll lose some readers?”

MR NICE GUY: “Maybe. But here’s the deal. There’s so much going on that can get us down. To face and endure the challenges before us, we need to be grounded in genuine, personal experiences where we find glimpses of grace and reasons to hope. We need to be reminded of the importance of the many people in our lives – past and present – who demonstrate integrity, wisdom, and compassion. We need to tap into the insights of our spiritual traditions that have helped guide people for centuries as human life has evolved. I’m not going to write about issues unless I have something hopeful and constructive to say.”

MR VINEGAR “Well, OK, that’s your choice. But just don’t let yourself become a pleasant waste of time.”

MR NICE GUY “OK, point taken. And now that you’ve had a chance to speak out, can I finish writing this?”

MR VINEGAR “Of course. But I’m not going away – I’ll be back. I have too much fun prodding you.”

*****

I remember hearing a Jewish story about a rabbi in a small village. An old man would show up at every event where the rabbi was speaking. He would pester the rabbi with skeptical questions and criticize him time after time. When he died, no one was expected to show up at the cemetery when he was buried. The gravediggers were surprised when the rabbi showed up. They asked him, “Why are you here? We expected you’d be glad this man is gone.”

“I’m going to miss him,” said the rabbi. “He was the one person in town that kept me honest.”

Time for a Break

Dear Subscribers and Friends,

On December 15, 2020, I posted my first “PocketEpiphanies” article. My goal was to share some of the insights, memories, and stories that have been meaningful to me over my life and career that might also be of interest to others.

I did not know how long I would keep at it.

As of last week, I’ve written 150 articles now have 169 subscribers. I’m surprised I’ve gotten this far.

From time to time, I’ll receive a message from someone that a particular post was helpful to them in their journey. When I’m out and about in town, I’ll meet one of you and you’ll tell me you look forward to seeing what I come up with each week. This makes it worth it.

I have decided that reaching the 150-post milestone is a good time for a break. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to let my mind and imagination lie fallow. I plan to resume on January 6. Until then, please know that being connected with all of you means a great deal to me. In these fractured times, I feel this is one way to stay in touch with one another about what matters in life without trying to “monetize,” advertise, or become an “influencer.” Thank you for being part of this journey.

Steve

P.S.: If you haven’t been with me since the beginning, you may want to see what I posted two years ago– pieces written to reflect themes of the season.

The Spiritual Point of Conception: Reflections and Images https://wordpress.com/post/drjsb.com/872

The Power of Spiritual Friendships: Thoughts and Images https://wordpress.com/post/drjsb.com/897

Spiritual Guardians: Carpenters, Mentors and Drummers https://drjsb.com/2021/12/18/spiritual-guardians-carpenters-mentors-and-drummers/

The Nativity: A Hospital Epiphany and Three Works of Art: https://drjsb.com/2021/12/24/the-nativity-a-message-at-the-hospital-and-three-works-of-art/

Image: a photo I took of my parked bike at Goleta Beach, 2020

Faith and Sight

I am fond of each of these three statements and think they are saying the same thing in different ways:

“We walk by faith and by sight.” – world religion scholar Huston Smith.

“Pray for a good harvest and hoe like hell.” – a saying I heard once from a farmer.

“The compass points you true north but does not warn you of obstacles and swamps along the way.” – Abraham Lincoln in Steven Spielberg’s film, Lincoln.

I found the Huston Smith statement as I was reviewing my notes from my time with him at Esalen in 2010. I don’t have a record of what led him to quote this or what comments he made about it. But I believe it’s worth exploring.

If you have been nurtured in the Christian tradition, it may sound as if he was misquoting a famous passage from St. Paul: “We walk by faith and not by sight.” (2 Cor 5:7). Over the years, I have heard this read and sung to remind the faithful to trust in divine guidance and providence even when we can’t see how things are going to work out. We can become over-reliant on “sight” — our current understanding of whatever situation we are facing. This can lead to despair if we don’t “see” a way through a situation. But reminding us to not be limited by what we see, and instead trust that God is at work in our lives can ease our anxiety and give us courage.

But Huston must have liked turning the phrase into “We walk by faith AND by sight.”

As a scholar of global spirituality, he knew every tradition assumes a certain amount of faith and trust in a greater reality beyond our everyday knowing. Throughout his life, he was plumbing the depths of mystical experience and spiritual ways of understanding life. But he was always in dialogue with scientists, psychologists, and philosophers as they described what they see as real. Rather than make it either/or, he encouraged people to use both faith and reason to navigate life’s challenges.

The quote about farming can at first sound a bit cynical. For some devout folks, praying for a desired outcome should be enough…isn’t it a bit disrespectful to imply one needs to “hoe like hell?” Praying for a desired outcome can open us to forces beyond our sight that can bring unexpected blessings. But we can’t just pray and sit back. We’ve got to do our part – put in all the necessary hard work as we go along.

In the Lincoln movie, the President is in a conversation with Senator Thaddeus Stevens, an abolitionist who is focused on establishing complete equality for African Americans. While Lincoln agrees with him in principle, he knows it’s not possible in the politics of their historical moment. Complete equality is the “true north” they both seek, but there are many swamps along the way; better to get as far as you can towards the goal than be so high-minded that nothing changes. Stevens eventually conceded and Congress passed the 13^th Amendment.

I believe in the power of faith and believe we must keep our eyes open as we make our way through life. I believe in praying for good outcomes and know we need to be ready to work hard to realize them. I think we must know where true north is in our lives and accept the fact that there may be many swamps that must be negotiated as we head that direction.

I think of this when I see people face serious medical issues. Some people of good faith want to trust that faith or positive thinking alone will lead to healing, with little need for medical knowledge. But the wiser people I’ve known blend both. They find the best doctors and learn all they can. They also know there are “unseen” forces that can contribute to healing, like meditation, prayer, social support, and guided imagery. They walk by faith and by sight.

I think about this with marriage and family. Over the years as I’ve met with couples as they prepare for making the commitment. I affirm the power of the love, hope, and faith that is leading them. I also encourage them to remember that much work will be required to honor their highest hopes.

And I think of this with the many great nonprofits I’ve been associated with over the years – Isla Vista Youth Projects, Hospice of Santa Barbara, La Casa de Maria Retreat Center, and the Neighborhood Clinics. They all start with an inspiring vision and faith in what they can accomplish. But to survive and thrive requires endless hard work, strategic decision-making, and survival skills. Faith and sight need each other.

Photo credit: abrokenbackpack.com

Is Creating an Empty Space on Your Holiday List?

A colleague once told of visiting an older writer in Paris whom she’d always admired. The woman welcomed her at the door and invited her in. The apartment was full of books, papers, and artwork and it was not clear where to sit. The woman gestured toward a chair that had some books and papers on it. “Oh, just put those anywhere.” My friend picked the items up and was about to place them on a small empty table nearby, but the woman said, “Oh, not there. I try to keep one space empty and open wherever I live.” And she indicated a different spot to lay the items.

My friend said she never forgot this idea: that even in the smallest of residences, it may be a worthwhile practice to have one place that is not covered with things, but always “empty and open.”

This time of year, it’s common to bring out all kinds of things that speak to us of the meaning and memories of the season – figurines, candles, ornaments, greens, lights, seasonal books, etc. I have several playlists of music I return to every year, which fills the air with music. It can be a busy and joyful time.

I’ve been thinking — What would it be like this year to create an “empty and open space’ in our living space? What if we choose a spot that we see throughout the day that will remind us to be inwardly open to silent truths, fresh inspirations, and the savoring of mystery?

In the Biblical story of the angel coming to Mary, she is essentially asked if she will be open to a new life coming into this world through her. She says yes, and the life arrives from a realm beyond her knowing.

Isn’t it the same with all children? We understand how the biology works, but the way children seem to each arrive with a unique soul and presence is surely a wonder. David Brooks tells of a friend whose spiritual journey began as she held her first child in her arms and thought, “I love this child more than evolution can explain.”

In the Mexican tradition of La Posada, Joseph and Mary travel from house to house, asking if they might stay for the night. Time after time they are told there is no room for them. In the end, the only ‘open space” they are offered is a manger. But it is enough.

I’m going to try this out. My desk sits next to a bookcase where every shelf is often full of books and CDs. But I decided to clear off one eye-level shelf and leave it bare for the month. When I’m tempted to place something there, I’m going to tell myself, “Oh, not there. I try to keep one empty and open space wherever I live.”

“How silently, how silently, the wondrous gift is given…” In silence and emptiness and openness gifts can appear that may surprise us.

The Key May Be Waiting in the Shadows

One recent afternoon my wife and I hiked up a local canyon. On our way back, the sun was beginning to set, and shafts of life were cutting through the oak trees. We stopped to take a few pictures. Here’s one:

As we resumed walking, I began thinking about how our awareness is naturally attracted to whatever in our environment is illuminated. For example, in this photo, I find myself looking at the lower half where the light is brightest.

This can be a kind of bias — to the tree itself, the parts that I don’t notice because they are in the shadows are just as important as the parts reflecting the sunlight. I was reminded of a timeless Sufi tale about a man looking for a lost key:

The great Sufi master Mullah Nasruddin was on his hands and knees searching for something under a streetlamp. A man saw him and asked, “What are you looking for?” “My house key,” Nasruddin replied. “I lost it.” The man joined him in looking for the key, and after a period of fruitless searching, the man asked, “Are you sure you lost it around here?” Nasruddin replied, “Oh, I didn’t lose it around here. I lost it over there, by my house.” “Then why,” the man asked, “are you looking for it over here?” “Because,” Nasruddin said, “The light is so much better over here.”

This tendency has since become known as the “streetlight effect: “a type of observational bias that occurs when people only search for something where it is easiest to look.”[i]

A psychology professor once described how our unconscious mind is often working to solve problems without our awareness, and sometimes we need to give it some space to help us. He gave the example of trying to remember someone’s name. We may stop and try harder and harder to concentrate on locating the fact — like turning up the power on our flashlight to maximum power – but that doesn’t seem to help. He suggested we try letting our focused search go for a minute and shift our attention to something else, like looking out a window. When we do that, the name we are looking for will often appear in our awareness like a gift out of the blue. Turning our attention elsewhere allows the answer to come to us from “the shadows” of our mind.

I’ve applied this often in conversations. Someone is telling me a story and gets stuck trying to remember a name. They get frustrated when they can’t come up with it. I’ve learned to say, “Just keep telling your story and it will come back to you.” Almost always, when they resume their story, the fact will come to them and they’ll say, “Oh, now I remember…”

During COVID, I took some Zoom writing classes from Marilyn McEntyre. One of them was called, “Writing Into The Unknown.” Marilyn told of being in graduate school and meeting with a professor to receive a paper he had graded. He told her it was flawlessly done. “But,” he said, “it’s boring.” He encouraged her to take more chances. She realized she had always depended on using outlines, knowing exactly where she was going when she started to write. This can be useful in some situations. But it can be an impediment in creative and personal writing. She encouraged us to start with a hunch or a feeling and see where it goes. Often, we surprise ourselves by discovering insights we didn’t know were “in” us. Moving away from the lamppost can lead us to the key.

This resonates with the book In Praise of Walking,[ii] which I wrote about some months ago. If we have been working on a problem at our desk and feeling stuck, it’s well worth our time to get up and go for a walk. As our attention shifts away from the problem, interesting ideas often bubble up to the surface of our awareness. What we’ve done is give the unconscious/shadow part of our mind a chance to share what it’s quietly been working on all along, and it rarely disappoints.

In recent years, I’ve become more aware of “somatic intelligence” – the capacity of our body to know things that our conscious mind hasn’t figured out yet. Sometimes we “get a feeling” about someone or something and we’re not sure where that comes from, but the feeling/thought turns out to be valid. We use our rational mind to evaluate what we are feeling, but we do so while recognizing we may know more than we can say and be open to the unseen within us.

Let’s go back to the photo of the tree. At first, all my attention was drawn to the lower half. Here’s what the upper section shows:

A very different look from the lower half. And the more I look at it, the more mysterious and interesting it becomes – so dense with intertwined growth representing years of making its way in this canyon.

Here’s the original photo, with the illuminated parts of the tree integrated with the shadow side. Together, they form a whole:

May we appreciate the different aspects of our personal awareness as we navigate the wonders of this life.

[i] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streetlight_effect#cite_note-1

[ii] https://drjsb.com/2022/04/16/the-gift-of-walking-everyday-problems-electric-toothbrushes-and-an-easter-surprise/

What We Take for Granted

This past Monday, I had surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff in my right shoulder. As a result, my right arm is in a sling for the time being. This is a common procedure that many of you have gone through, and minor compared to the challenges so many people face. But, for the first time in my life, I am going through routine daily tasks without the use of my right arm to do things like sign a check, pick up a box, guide the computer mouse, or drive to the store. I am finding an increased awareness of the things that I “take for granted.” And my curiosity has lingered on the word: “granted.“

The word “grant” can mean: “to give or allow something, usually in an official way.” We may receive something we desire, but it’s not something we have control over – like being granted a pardon or receiving a grant to fund a project.[i]

The meaning expands when we “take something for granted:”

Here is one definition: “To believe something to be the truth, without even thinking about it; for example, “I guess we all took it for granted that water would always be freely available.”[ii]

I think of my right arm: How many millions of years of evolution did it take to create and engineer this arm? How many of my biological ancestors helped develop its capacities, passing on what is advantageous to future generations and ultimately to me? My right arm and its capabilities have all come in the form of a grant. I have never thought of it that way – I have always taken it for granted.

In 2010, we made a 12-hour journey to attend a week-long yoga retreat near Mount Shasta. That night, I got up out of bed and discovered my left side was partially paralyzed and my speech was impaired. I was taken to the local hospital where I spent the night, not knowing whether the damage would be permanent or temporary. As it turned out, it was a passing incident; my capacities returned by noon the next day and I was discharged. Two days later I went to the morning yoga class to see if I could manage some simple stretches. In one posture I was bending over my outstretched left leg when I suddenly realized that this left leg, which had not been functioning just two nights before, was now responding to my intention as if nothing had happened. For the first time in my life, I looked at my left leg with awe and appreciation; I began silently singing to myself an old Van Morrison song, “Have I told you lately that I love you?”

This could have been the first time someone had sung that love song to their leg. All my life, I had taken that leg “for granted.” But for a while I lost it, and then it came back. I did not want to take it for granted again.

The tangible experience of taking something for granted, having it taken away, and then having it restored, fills us with gratitude.

Of course, many things that get taken away from us are never going to be replaced, including people we love. I remember a colleague telling me of his conversation with a person who was highly esteemed for both his spiritual depth and his leadership. The gentleman was a widower in his early 80s at the time. My friend asked, “What’s it like to have made it so far?”

“Nobody prepared me for the amount of loss that comes,” he said.

Regularly reminding ourselves of all the blessings in our life helps ground us; it keeps us from rushing through our life day after day until suddenly we realize we’ve lost so much without ever appreciating it. But I can’t imagine trying to list all the gifts and blessings I “take for granted” – there are just too many. Moment by moment, day after day, we move through life sustained and empowered by them without realizing it, the way a dolphin thrives as it swims through the sea. I may not recognize how much they mean to me until I lose them. But I am thankful for all I’ve been granted nevertheless.

[i] https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/grant

[ii] https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/take-for-granted

Photo: “Dolphin,” hdwalle.com

Sometimes There’s More than One Right Answer

Two dogs are looking at the stars at night. What might they be thinking?

I have no idea.

But in a recent New Yorker contest, three people came up with these possibilities:

Aren’t those great? Each is a delight…and a very different and original response to the same drawing.

How about this one?

Try taking just a minute before looking at the three responses….

…and here they are…

My first thought: Isn’t it amazing what four people can do — the one who had the idea of the drawing and sketched it, and then the three people who each came up with a delightful range of ideas?

My second thought: How often have we been taught – or assumed – that there is only one “right answer” to a question?

Of course, everyday math problems have one right answer. You give a barista a $5 bill for a $3.25 cup of coffee, and you expect the change to be $1.75.

But there are situations where there can be more than one “right” answer.

I was in an organization development class where we were introduced to “equifinality.” Here’s one definition: Equifinality is the principle that in open systems a given end state can be reached by many potential means.[i] The presenter said that it’s common to be on our own or in a group working on a problem, and when the first possible solution appears, we accept it and move on – assuming it is The Answer. But remembering that there may be more than one solution can open us to more creativity. He encouraged us to always look for at least three possibilities, and then decide which one is best.

I think of this when people are looking for a life partner. The phrase used to be, “I’m looking for Mr. Right.” But there may be several potential mates that would work out well; one’s life may turn out differently depending on each person’s characteristics – each rewarding in different ways.

This can be useful in hiring. We can create a job description and have a clear idea of what “the ideal candidate” may offer. But there could be several good candidates who would become excellent employees, each bringing a different set of gifts.

This is true in the arts. A great painting can mean different things to different people. A song like “Amazing Grace” can be sung in many different styles and sound inspired each time.

And this is exactly why I love dealing with the great stories of our spiritual traditions year after year. Each time I turn to them, I work and walk and wonder as I seek an insight that feels fresh and relevant until I find one. Five years later, I’ll come back to the same text and find something new. That doesn’t mean the prior idea was “wrong;” it means great stories, poems, plays, and works of art have inexhaustible possibilities. They’re not dead things. They are portals into our imagination and experience.

The French philosopher Paul Ricouer said that timeless stories, legal principles, and works of art can have a “surplus of meaning.”

I am reminded of this principle as we witness social and political conflicts. There’s got to be more than one way to work things out.

Let’s end with this image of two ears of corn discussing what it’s like to be popped:

[i] The term and concept is due to Hans Driesch, the developmental biologist, later applied by Ludwig von Bertalanffy, the founder of general systems theory, and by William T. Powers, the founder of perceptual control theory. Driesch and von Bertalanffy prefer this term, in contrast to “goal“, in describing complex systems‘ similar or convergent behavior. Powers simply emphasized the flexibility of response, since it emphasizes that the same end state may be achieved via many different paths or trajectories; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equifinality

Note: The cartoon with the dogs is from the September 25 issue and the ice cream cone cartoon is from the October 16 issue. When I cut out the cartoon with the popping corn, I failed to note in which issue it appeared. This is a case where there is One Right Answer, and I don’t have it.

Another Note: All honor goes to the New Yorker, where the genius of cartoon artists is reliably on display week after week after week.

What Do We See?

A neighbor recently posted this photo and commented: “On my morning walk……after seeing houses decorated with fake webs, I came across this, the real thing. Made me happy.”

When we stop to behold something like this, we can’t help but be amazed at the miracle of it all – how do these little creatures manufacture such extraordinary threads within their tiny body, and then weave them into this marvel of design and engineering?

A moment like this brings to my mind a popular image in perceptual psychology:

What do we see? A candlestick? Or the profile of two faces? We can’t see both at the same time…our mind must decide which one is the object we focus on while the other acts as background.

When I am taking a walk, I am often immersed in my private thoughts. My concerns are like the candlestick and the world is the background. But if I see something like these spider webs, my attention shifts: my “I” drops into the background and the web becomes the focus. I am, as we say, “outside myself” in an experience of awe and wonder.

I recently read this by the astrophysicist, Neil deGrasse Tyson:

“Humans want to think that they’re the center of the world. Children think this way. Then you come into adulthood and it’s a little disappointing to learn that’s not the case. We still think of events happening locally, in our lifetimes, as significant in a way that is out of proportion with reality. This can be depressing to some people, if you come into it with a high ego. If you go into it with no ego at all, you realize that you can be special not for being different, but for being a participant in life on Earth. That participation, if you’re open to it, can be quite illuminating, even sort of spiritually uplifting. You’re a part of all of life on Earth. Earth is part of all the planets that exist in the galaxy. The galaxy is part of an entire system of the universe.”[i]

Beholding the spider web, which exists entirely independent of me, “…can be quite illuminating, even sort of spiritually uplifting.”

For some of us, it’s more than “sort of” – it really is spiritually uplifting.

When I was in my early 20’s, I was immersed in my own personal world of ambition and desire which led to a personal crisis. One night I was trying to fall asleep and began to feel like my sanity was slipping away. At the time, I didn’t believe there was any spiritual presence or power in the world. But I was desperate. I prayed (I don’t remember what words I used.) Three days later, I was painting an apartment ceiling, and in an instant, the memory of that night came back to me…how afraid and desperate I was. Then I remembered I had prayed for help. Then I realized something had changed within me. Where my inner world had seemed so dark and empty, now there was a small, quiet point of light at the center and I felt a sense of inner peace. I did not hear any voices or get any messages. I did not in any way connect this with organized religion. But I was totally surprised. And grateful. And hopeful. The problems that had led me to my despair were not solved in that moment, but somehow, I knew I would be able to begin repairing and redirecting my life.

Several years later, I found myself skeptically stepping into a church. There it began to dawn on me that my private, mystical experience was like that of many people over the centuries. When this happens, we no longer feel as if we are at the center of the universe. Instead, we become a witness to something greater.

In seminary teacher once used the candlestick/faces image to describe the nature of spiritual awakening: we start out in life assuming we are the candle in the foreground and the world is our background. But then it reverses — we feel like we are in the background beholding a much greater reality. Our ego may not like being displaced. But realizing we are no longer at the center doesn’t feel disappointing; instead, it comes with a sense of liberation.

There is a 3,000-year-old story that has become a favorite of mine. Jacob is traveling through the desert amid his own complicated life. At an uninhabited place of no importance, he lays down to sleep for the night, taking a stone for a pillow. He has a dream in which he sees a stairway leading up to the heavens, and the voice of God speaks to him. In the morning he wakes up, remembers the dream, and says, “Surely the Lord is in this place and I did not know it.” (Genesis 28:16) An environment that had seemed ordinary has become enchanted. He pours oil on the stone to mark the place of his divine encounter.

“…you realize that you can be special not for being different, but for being a participant in life on Earth. That participation, if you’re open to it, can be quite illuminating, even sort of spiritually uplifting.”

It’s a wonderful thing to know we are not the center. Being a participant is a gift beyond measure.

[i] https://www.garrisonkeillor.com/radio/the-writers-almanac-for-thursday-october-5-2023/

GRACE: A Focusing Practice

Imagine you’re about to do something important and you want to be at your best. Maybe you are going to visit a friend who is facing a personal challenge. Or maybe you are about to begin a creative activity you enjoy. Maybe it’s an action that requires skill and concentration. In each of these situations, what can you do to prepare yourself?

I recently was introduced to a simple practice that may help in these situations. It uses the acronym G R A C E: Ground yourself, Relax, become Aware, focus on your Center, and Energize.

I’m going to offer my own perspective on what each step means, drawing from the various classes, retreats, trainings, and readings I’ve done over the years. I don’t consider myself an expert, just an explorer. Here it goes:

Ground Yourself — I remember a meditation teacher beginning a session by saying our body is always in the present moment, but our mind is a “time machine” — it’s constantly moving backward into our past and forward into the future, chasing thoughts and feelings. It’s helpful if we can slow it down and anchor it in the “here and now.” We can pause and take three deep, slow breaths, noticing our inhales and exhales, inviting that busy mind to settle into the present. We can pay attention to the sensation of our feet on whatever we are standing on – literally an act of “grounding.”

Relax – Once we are grounded, we take a moment to put ourselves at ease. We notice if there’s a part of our body that is tense and release it.

Aware — Grounding ourselves and relaxing, we now invite our senses to tell us more about where we are in this moment. What sounds are we hearing? Any sounds from nature, like a distant bird song? What is our skin telling us – is the air warm or cool? Is there a breeze blowing? If so, do we want to turn and face that breeze the way cats and dogs do when they sit in a doorway, maybe closing our eyes to heighten that awareness? Are there fragrances in the air? What do we see if we look around at our surroundings? Are there subtle and small details in our environment we did not notice at first? We are patient with this process – even if we are taking just a few moments, we are not in a hurry.

Center — When we’ve spent time to ground ourselves, relax, and become aware, our mind may have become more “present in the present.” In that moment, we may imagine that our awareness is no longer being swept along in mental busyness and anxiety, but closer to the “center” of who we are.

Energize is the final step. This is when we calmly move from this time of focusing to engage in whatever activity is before us – knocking on the door of the person we are going to visit, beginning a physical or creative activity, or just consciously entering our day.

I’ve been exposed to these techniques at different times in my life, but I think GRACE is an easy way to remember these practices in a sequence.

Here’s the Big Reveal: I came across this practice not at a monastery or mindfulness retreat but at a recent golf event. The event was organized by an international group that uses golf as a spiritual practice. Doing this routine before making a shot has surprising results – the shot often goes better than expected. If it doesn’t, we don’t get upset because we’ve become aware of the wonder of being alive in the moment. This practice quite simply makes the game much more interesting and enjoyable, whatever the outcome.

I once attended a hospice training retreat in Marin County led by a teacher who was a long-time friend of the popular spiritual writer Ram Dass. At one session we were able to Skype with him from his home in Maui. Ram Dass was relaxed and shared some general comments about “presence” and was fielding questions. Suddenly his expression changed. He became very serious and, addressing our group, said, “You are not a collection of your thoughts. You are loving awareness.” I’ve heard many definitions of “soul” and “spirit” over the years, and I found this one intriguing. Maybe at the deepest part within us, we are “loving awareness.” If so, that is our center.

By going through this process, we re-mind ourselves that we are more than just a busy brain loosely attached to a body. We are embodied human beings who have been gifted with this amazing multisensory life-form and a miraculous mind which, when they are working together, can open us to a rich awareness of where we are and what is possible.

GRACE brings together a variety of popular contemplative practices in a simple, memorable way. No matter what situation we are facing, who doesn’t want to experience it with a tangible sense of grace?

Photo: UCSB Lagoon