Learning From Each Other

Last week I shared my reflections after being diagnosed with a bacterial infection in my spine and spending five days in the hospital.  I appreciate the many good wishes that came my way and want everyone to know I am doing well. 

Knowing many people have similar stories to share – some challenges much more serious than mine – I asked people to share their own insights.  Here’s a sample of what I received:

• “l have 2 takeaways from 4 days in the hospital last year for Covid/Pneumonia and dealing with subsequent complications for a couple of months after that. I find it’s a lot easier now to be present and stay in the moment and I no longer take anything for granted.”
• “Steve so sorry to learn about your ordeal with those invasive organisms. We pray things will continue to go well with treatment. My favorite Psalm is P. 27:  The Lord is my light and salvation!”
• “Crohn’s disease is a chronic illness, but I resonated with so much of what you shared.”
• “Read your account of the nasty encounter with Streptococcus anginosus and so grateful that it’s treatable!  I also appreciated ‘What I’ve learned” because it echoes my experiences with my many joint replacements: such gratitude for the level of medical science that lets us walk back home with a good life waiting for us. I’ve been on the other side of the PICC line in the role your good wife has taken on when my sister had a wild ride with an abdominal surgery incision that took a long time to finally close and heal. A unique intimacy evolved in that process that deepened both of us.”  

These responses offer some wise guidelines for our day-to-day life.

• “Be present in the moment and stay in the moment” — Many years ago, I visited a parishioner who was in the hospital for a heart condition.  I asked her how she was doing.  She said the pain was getting better and she would be released soon.  Then she said, “But there’s been an unexpected blessing about being here. From my bed, I can see the ocean and the harbor.” (Her room was on the 5^th floor of the old hospital.)  “The last two mornings I woke up before dawn and watched the sun slowly rise over the ocean.  In all my years living in Santa Barbara, I had not done that. All I could do to simply watch it.  It was beautiful.  I’m going to miss it.”  Opportunities for wonder are all around us.  We don’t have to wait until we are confined to a hospital bed to discover them.
• “No longer take anything for granted.” — We don’t know what the future holds, so it’s important to be aware of the blessings we experience every day.  Once a day we can take time to recall and name seven moments or events that occurred in the last 24 hours that we are thankful for.  This practice can help us pay attention to such moments as they appear.
• Have a Scripture, prayer, spiritual teaching or song you can turn to in times of uncertainty.  These can help ground and center us when we find ourselves in unexpected situations.  Hymns and spiritual songs harness the power of music to allow us to transcend our limitations.
• Find common ground with others who share similar challenges.  None of us may fully know what someone else is going through, but sharing our own vulnerabilities and hopes can dissolve the feeling we are completely alone.
• Be grateful for medical science.  It won’t solve all our problems, cure all our ailments, or allow us to live forever, but it is remarkable how much it can do.
• Know that caring for someone or being cared for can lead to a “unique empathy.”   “Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones. But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal. A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said. We are at our best when we serve others.” (Ira Byock)

One way to think about life is to see it as a pilgrimage.  People on a pilgrimage are making the journey for their own personal reasons.  But they travel together.  They share stories and memories.  They enjoy each other.  They care for each other along the way.  Getting to the destination is important, but often it’s what they learned on the journey that is most valuable. 

I appreciate the responses I received. They remind us that no matter what challenges we may face, we can always look for opportunities to grow in our appreciation for life and each other.

Photo: Pilgrims on the Camino de Santiago, https://www.ncregister.com