The other day I was doing my physical therapy exercises. I was bored. My restless brain began looking for something to distract itself. I thought about the different stages of life we can go through and came up with my own scheme.
Stage 1: I want to be amazing. This stage begins in infancy when we start to walk, entertain adults and throw tantrums. It continues in school when we try to figure out what we might be good at so other kids and adults respect us: Sports? Academics? Flirting? Gossip? Making money? This stage can continue for a long time.
Stage 2: I seem to be losing ground – but I bet I can be as good as I used to be if I put my mind to it! This stage can begin in our 40s, 50s, or 60s. There are some activities we realize we cannot do, but we believe we can reverse this process if we put our mind to it. We buy self-help books, lots of supplements and find encouraging podcasts. Maybe we join a gym or try online fitness classes. In the beginning, we feel great and become optimistic. We imagine a whole new chapter in our life — we will be one of those people who are told, “Wow, you look great for your age!” Maybe that fantasy comes true. But for most people, not much changes. One day we realize our youthful ship has sailed.
Stage 3: I’ll never be as good as I used to be, but maybe I can slow the decline. We stay active not to become “Comeback Player of the Year” but to adapt as well as we can. At first it may feel like a defeat, but it can also bring a sense of relief. We look at younger people and are amazed at how effortlessly they go through their day. We look at our own body and our thoughts can change from “Why have you failed me?” to “I’m going to do what I can to honor you in the time we have left.”
Stage 4: Loss and Wonder. We grieve what we’ve lost and are losing. But we realize it’s amazing we’ve made it this far, seen what we’ve seen, and done what we’ve done. We don’t know how much time we have left but we’re not dead yet. We try to be useful to others and enjoy simple pleasures. In quiet moments, we witness the mystery and miracle of being alive.
Steve Jacobsen, Ed.D 
Perceptive and so true.My own recent self-reflections lead to: I’ve always done less than I could have. But my quite recent reaction to my own analysis is: So what?! I could have been a contender…. But I never wanted to “contend”. Thanks be unto you, Ernie
Sent from my lawn mower
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Thank you, my Long Time Fellow Pilgrim…I agree.
Steve
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As I approach the less optimistic end of stage 2 I am happy to read about what’s next! And glad to see that stage 4 can be optimistic in a different way, full of wonder and gratitude about what has been possible. It is truly amazing that the machine of our body works as well as it does for as long as it does!
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Thank you, Brad! Enjoy the vital stage you inhabit now. Each one has its own gifts.
Steve
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It’s a very interesting slope, reminds me of Seven ages of man by W. Shakespeare. There was another one about borrowing extra time from different animals as you are only given 25 initially : first 25 years you live as a human, next 25 years you work as a horse, next 25 – bark at everyone like a dog and final 25 years people are going to laugh at you as if you were a monkey.
I’m in my horse years right now, it’s not bad. I guess our dog years can be quite positive as well, barking dogs never bite. And final stage, well, hopefully we will never make it that far, haha
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I may now be firmly entrenched in Stage 4, but I still occasionally visit the previous stages! Not sure what that says about me. Ever the optimist, delusional??? What I really don’t understand, however, is how I reached Stage 4 so quickly. It really does seem like it should have taken longer to get here!
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Alice: Good to hear…no law against moving back and forth in the stages!
Steve
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