Five Tips for Everyday Living

Last year, David Brooks wrote a column in which he shared a list of 38 “life hacks” created by a tech writer he admires, Kevin Kelly[i].  They may not be profound spiritual insights or revelations – they’re more like practical suggestions on how to manage everyday situations.  Here are five that spoke to me:

1. … over the last few years I have embraced, almost as a religious mantra, the idea that if you’re not sure you can carry it all, take two trips.  Many times in my life I’ve parked my car… looked at the various items I want to take in… recognized it was going to be a challenge to get them all in one trip…, and then heard a voice saying “Yeah, it’s a lot, but you can do it!”  I awkwardly fill up my arms with all the items…try to shut the car door with a foot…and something spills on the sidewalk. Or maybe I get as far as the front door, discover it’s locked, and as I try to get my keys out of my pocket, disaster strikes.  Since reading this, I am catching myself in that moment of decision between foolish optimism and sober realism.  Choosing the Calm-and-Practical-Me in such moments makes me feel like a Zen master.  Less spillage, less embarrassment, and a glimmer of maturity.  Low-cost liberation!
2. Something does not need to be perfect to be wonderful, especially weddings.  I’ve participated in many weddings over the years, and, to tell you the truth, they often make me nervous.  Expectations can be high in terms of the flowers, the decorations, the timing, the participants, the food, the guest list, and the schedule of events.  The most expensive formal wedding I ever presided at started late because the bride and groom were arguing with lawyers about the prenuptial agreement; the marriage itself lasted only a few years.  I contrast that experience with the ceremonies I’ve been part of that have had a mood of ease, quiet joy, humor, reverence, and genuine affection.  These ceremonies may not reach Martha Stewart’s standards, but they are experiences where love and wonder met.
3. The biggest lie we tell ourselves is, “I don’t need to write this down because I will remember it.”  It’s amazing how many things we think we will remember but forget. Of course, the older we get, the more this occurs. I’m trying to be more intentional about writing things down on notecards or with the memo app on my phone.
4. If you can’t make up your mind between two options, flip a coin. Don’t decide based on which side of the coin came up. Decide based on your emotional reaction to which side came up.  I’ve often quoted David Brooks’ comment “Our culture assumes we are brains on a stick.”  The truth is we have many ways of knowing including feeling, intuition, and “somatic intelligence” – the idea that our bodies sometimes know truths hidden from our conscious thinking. I have a variety of different routes I walk in our neighborhood. In the last year or two, if I get to a familiar intersection and receive a prompting like, “How about turning left today instead of right and going down a street you rarely go?” I follow it.  I like to think it’s helping me tune in to that hidden way of knowing, which may better access our natural creativity.
5. Don’t try to figure out what your life is about. It’s too big a question. Just figure out what the next three years are about.  I’ve been trying to figure out what life is about since I was a teenager and I am not giving up.  I intend to stay curious about spiritual insights, new scientific knowledge, and the practical wisdom conveyed by people I meet.  But I like this idea of making a three-year plan for the practical things in life.  It’s manageable.

The original article included 38 such suggestions. That’s way too many for me.  I’m thinking I can hold five at a time without dropping any. I also hope writing them down like this will help – if I remember where I put the list.

Here’s my summary:

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[i] David Brooks, The Greatest Life Hacks in the World (for Now); June 2, 2022

Top image: “Monk Writing,” Carl Schleicher, 1903