A dear friend died last week at age 96. I’d been visiting her for eleven years. Her health had been declining and she recently went on hospice care, so it was not a surprise. But it’s hard to accept.
In my visits with her, we explored a wide range of topics: timeless spiritual questions, great works of art, music (Bach, Mozart, old hymns, and popular songs), politics, and her rich personal history, among others. We’d often jump from one topic to another and lose track of time. We were frequently surprised at how quickly the time passed and exhilarated by all the ground we’d cover.
I know she is “gone.” I simply can’t believe I’ll never have a chance to visit her again. I can’t believe a light that burned so brightly in my life has disappeared from my sight.
I play hide-and-seek with our two-year-old granddaughter. One of us disappears around a corner in the house, and the other comes searching. When the seeker finds the hider, we share an exclamation of delight. I want to go looking for my departed friend, but I know I will not be able to find her. Where did she go?
And every time we go out in public, how many people do we pass by who are having similar thoughts as they go thorugh their day?
When will it be time for me to disappear? Will I see it coming?
(Top photo: Night sky over our house; lower photo: UCSB Lagoon at sunset)
Steve Jacobsen, Ed.D 
I’m sorry for your loss, Steve.
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Loved the “Sky in the Pie”. I need to start making pies! You made me hungry.
A friend just sent me this quotation: In 1790, President George Washington wrote a letter to the Hebrew Congregation of Newport, Rhode Island. In it, he expressed his belief that America is a place where bigotry and persecution would not be tolerated, and where “everyone shall sit in safety under his own vine and fig tree, and there shall be none to make him afraid” https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Washington/05-06-02-0135 1https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Washington/05-06-02-0135. This statement is a powerful reminder of the importance of religious freedom and tolerance in American society. 1https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Washington/05-06-02-0135: The Papers of George Washington, Presidential Series, vol. 6, 1 July 1790 – 30 November 1790, ed. Mark A. Mastromarinohttps://founders.archives.gov/documents/Washington/05-06-02-0135.
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Cragg: Of course, you’re the guy that taught me the “sky is in the pie” phrase!
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This was great! It hit me hard, too. I lost a good friend last Monday. She was almost 90, but she was such a perfect friend. We met every 3 months or so for coffee at Starbucks to solve world problems, family issues, discuss books, and listen to her very liberal ideas. A light has definitely gone out for me. Good friends are rare. Thanks for this article.
Gretchen
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Gretchen: Thank you for the comment. We know death is inevitable, but it’s so strange when it actually occurs. I’m glad it resonated with you.
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How sobering and poignant. How worthy of lengthy pondering. Thank you so very much, Rev. Once again.
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John, Thank you for the comment! What I wrote wasn’t very upbeat, but I do think it’s the kind of thinking we experience when we are faced with the finality of someone’s passing.
Steve
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Steve, I loved this, and loved the two photos that you used to bookend the piece. Both photos capture the light and the beauty which become more dramatic and more emotionally charged in the dark and darkening sky. Beautiful images for the mystery that enters our lives when we are touched by death.
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Steve, think of the wonderful light that you shared together and that you brought to her with each visit. You no doubt comforted her passage into the next realm and gave her a tremendous amount of peace.
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Thank you, Bob. Yes, it felt like a time of sharing the Light that she was passing into. It was a privilege and a joy to do that.
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